This is an excerpt from a letter written by John Welsh, while he was a prisoner at Blackness, to Dame Lilias Grahame, Countess of Wigton, it feels like it could have come from my own heart.

The consolations of the Holy Ghost be multiplied upon you in Christ Jesus.

Often and may times, Christian and elect lady, I have desired the opportunity to be comforted with that consolation wherewith it hath pleased God of his free grace and mercy to fill and furnish you. Your remembrance is very sweet and comfortable to my very soul. Since the first time I knew you in Christ Jesus, I have ever been mindful of you unto the Lord; and now, not being able to refrain any longer, I could not omit this occasion, not knowing how long it may please the Lord to continue being in this tabernacle, or give me further occasion of writing to any.

Although i Have not great matter at this time, yet, in remembrance of your labour of love, hope, and patience, I must needs salute your Ladyship, knowing assuredly you are the chosen of God, set apart before ever the world was to that glorious and eternal inheritance. Being thus comforted in your faith and hope, I am fully assured, though we never have the occasion of meeting here, yet we shall reign together in the world to come.

My desire to remain here is not great, knowing, that so long as I am in this house of clay, I am absent from God. And if it were dissolved, I look for a building not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. In this I groan, desiring to be clothed upon with my house which is in heaven: if so be that being clothed I shall not be found naked. For I that am within this tabernacle do often groan and sigh within myself, being oftentimes burdened: not that I would be unclothed, but clothed upon, that mortality might be swallowed up of life. I long to eat of that tree which is planed in the midst of the Paradise of God, and to drink of the pure river, as clear as crystal, that runs through the street of the New Jerusalem. I know that my Redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand the last day upon the earth: and though after my skin worms destroy my body, yet in my flesh shall I see God: whom I shall see for myself, and not another for me; and my eyes shall behold him though my reins be consumed within me. I long to be refreshed with the souls of them that are under the altar, who were slain for the Word of God, and the testimony they held; and to have these long white robes given me, that I may walk in white raiment with those glorious saints who have washed their garments, and have made them white in the blood of the Lamb. Why should I think it a strange thing to be removed from this place to that wherein my Hope, my Joy, my Crown, my Elder Brother, my Head, my Father, my Comforter, and all the glorious saints are; and where the song of Moses and the Lamb is sung joyfully; were we shall not be compelled to sit by the rivers of Babylon, and to hand up our harps on the willow trees: but shall take them up and sing the new Hallelujah, Blessing, honour, glory, and power, to him that sits upon the throne, and to the Lamb for ever and ever?

What is there under the old vault of the heavens, and in this old worn earth, which is under the bondage of corruption, groaning, and travailing in pain, and shooting out the head, looking, waiting, and longing for the redemption of the Sons of God? What is there, I say, that should make me desire to remain here? I expect that new heaven and that new earth, wherein righteousness dwelleth, wherein I shall rest for evermore. I look to get entry into the New jerusalem; at one of those twelve gates whereupon written the names of the twelve tribes of the children of Israel. I know that Christ Jesus hath prepared them for me. Why May I not, then, with boldness in his blood, step into that glory where my Head and Lord hath gone before me?

Jesus Christ is the door and the porter: who then shall hold me out? Will he let them perish for whom he died? Will he let them, poor sheep, be plucked out of his hand for whom he laid down his life? Who shall condemn the man who God hath justified? Who shall anything to the charge of the man for whom Christ hath died, or rather risen again? I know I have greivously transgressed; but where sin abounded grace will superabound. I know my sins are red as scarlet and crimson, yet the red blood of Christ my Lord can make them as white as snow or wool. Whom have I in heaven but him, or whom desire I in the earth besides him? (Psalm lxxiii. 25). O thou the fairest among the children of men, the Light of the GEntiles, the Glory of the Jews, the LIfe of the Dead, the Joy of the Angels and Saints, my soul panteth to be with thee; I will put my spirit into thy hands, and thou wilt not put me out of thy presence. Will come unto thee, for thou castest none away that comes unto thee. O thou the delight of mankind, thou camest to seek and to save that which was lost. Thou seeking me hast found me; and now being found by thee, I hope, O lord, thou wilt not let me perish: I desire to be with thee, and do long for the fruition of thy blessed presence, and joy of thy countenance. Thou the only good Shepherd art full of grace and truth; therefore I trust thou wilt not thrust me out of the door of grace and truth;