I wonder if there is even one among us, who has never quite appreciated something or someone, till they have lost them, or are in separation. There is much to that old maxim of Absence makes the heart grow fonder. But there are lessons to be learned throughout history, of such things, and it maybe a friend, a child, spouse, parent, any relationship one can name it may apply to. Those who often make the most impact, are those who walk quietly not shouting about their good works, or feeling the need to display in public when they do one kind act that is not really in the way or normal activities to them like I have seen some do. Those who walk amongst us quietly and discreetly, not wanting applause for themselves, and yet seem to go unseen and unappreciated because of how they don’t crave credit, but want the credit to go to God alone, are the ones it seems to me who are often under appreciated. Those who shout about the odd kind act, and feel the need to tell others, are the ones who will be appreciated because they make sure they are in various ways, subtle ways but nontheless true.
Good theology seems to get you well-respected particualry in Calvinistic circles. But Theology maketh no man. And it certainly maketh no Christian anything outstanding on its own.

The folowing extract if from a memorial by a group of Christian ladies over which Benjamin Morgan Palmer’s wife presided.

” Nearly twenty years ago quite a number
of us organized ourselves together for
the purpose of benevolent and Christian
labors ; and she by whose vacant seat we
now stand to-day with such sorrowful hearts,
was chosen from among us to be our guide,
our counsellor and our leader—and we
called her President.
Many of us were just entering upon
life’s morning, the future all glorious be
fore us, with the rainbow of hope undimmed
by sorrow’s touch. Others were already
bearing the heat and burden of the day,
and were oft-times weary with the load of
care. And, again, there were those whose
eyes were turned to the brighter and more
perfect day, but whose feet were oft-times
tottering and very feeble. But to one and
all, of every age, our President was a dayspring
of joy—ever rejoicing with those
that did rejoice, and weeping with those
that wept. In sorrow and in trial she ever
strengthened by her counsel, and cheered
by her sympathy, herself bearing a part of
our burden. As a Society, we sometimes
halted by the way ; or like a streamlet
with rippled, ruffled surface, made murmur
as we moved ; until with one common impulse
we would throw all the trouble over
on the broad, calm, deep nature—whose
serious depth we then, alas ! but partially
understood ; but now has come the full
knowledge of its power and of our great
loss, .We know her as she was—strong,
yet gentle ; firm, but tender ; a true Chris-
tian, with every womanly virtue. * * *
In her beautiful womanhood, during all
these years she went in and out among us,
always looked for, always welcomed, ever
at her post, until the dawning of that day
when it was said, ‘ she sleeps ;
‘ and from
that sleep we may not awaken her. But
there is a forward looking, and an upward ;
and may we not pray that her mantle cover
us ; and that with united and renewed
strength we follow on where she would
have led—even as she would now say to
us, ‘ Come up higher.’”

Benjamin Palmer himself continues:

‘Tis only when they spring to heaven that angels
Reveal themselves to you ; they sit all day
Beside you, and lie down at night by you.
Who care not for their presence—muse or sleep
And all at once they leave you and you know them.”

But what a sarcasm it is upon the wis-.
dom of man, that his treasures should be
known only through their loss! (The
separation came after the sweet possession
of seven and forty years, and left us bankrupt.
It was a sorrow wholly by itself.

In the calm of a nature thus self-poised
there lay a quiet force, which went forth
with a silent yet magnetic control of all
with whom she came in contact. Its pressure
was like that of the atmosphere, so
equal on every side as scarcely to be recognised.
Like the forces in the material
In the
deep sorrows through which she passed,
her calm submission was an angel’s strength
to all around her ; whilst in each, she
mounted to a higher trust in Him who
was preparing her for the eternal rest.
The virtues, as well as the vices, grow
together in the cluster. It will occasion
no surprise that transparent honesty
marked the character just depicted. Her
truthfulness was so punctilious, that it
stumbled even over the social courtesies
in which the slightest prevarication was
implied. And the strategy was sometimes
amusing, which substituted a judicious
silence for the conventionalisms in which
the charge of falsehood can be evaded only
by construing them as unmeaning. This
sincerity was, however, accompanied with
such grace of manner as never to seem
harsh or brusque ; whilst it had the advantage
of securing that measure of confidence
which is accorded only to perfect honesty
of mind and heart. She was thus the
truest of the true ; and so carried her heart
in her hand, that her speech was ever the
echo of her thought.—Benajamin Morgan Palmer

That is the type of Christian who makes the most difference in a Christ like way. Not the ones with all the right theology yet little of Christ’s works in them or insular self serving faith.
In Seeking A Settled Heart: The 16th Century Diary Of Puritan Richard Rogers he was to write the below entry:

Dec. 16,1588. In this time God visited my wife, never
more near to death, whereby all the former considerations
(January last, the 5 th ) were revived. And this fell out in a time in
which had been broken or discontinued the keeping of some
covenants betwixt us made and entered into, as private
differences, some harshness, not that pleasauntness in that
behalf required.
I saw allso that this was much out of the way a week or
more before, and waited opportunity to cut it off, but I moved
too slowly. And though it was no such thing as was noted by
any one else, or so much as betwixt our selves, only I saw that
there was some abating of the affection which had been, yet I
would not willingly see it so again, nor that we had so parted.
And hereby it may be seen that many of our oversights,
which pass us without any check, do come to remembrance
sometime after — with great grief.
–Richard Rogers

Again another example of how being at odds with someone, you could eaisly lose them in that moment and never get a chance to put things right. We all take things for granted; our health, our relations; our blessings yet we have not one reason too. They are all uncertain riches. But I think we are all guilty at times of not appreciating what we have until separation or loss incurs, even sometimes by death.  And its not just the person we under-appreciate we wrong by it, it is also the giver of the gift too. And as someone who is not guiltless of this, and it often causes me sorrow to remember, I would want to tell folks to show those you love that you love them. For if you don’t, or you put it off, or your stubborn pride makes you want them to make the first move, you may never have another opportunity to. BEcause God could snatch them Home to Himself. Sometimes I think, I have entertained angels unawares, and when I say unawares I mean just that. Sometimes you take peoples always being there for granted. It’s only when the hole is left that cannot be filled by anything or anyone else, you realize how when you had chance to appreciate them, you threw it away and was careless at times. Lets show the people that we love, that we love them, before being left with that hole that can never be filled by another, at least in some cases.

What is to be done with a love which
belongs only to one, when that one is
gone and cannot take it up ? It cannot
perish, for it has become part of our own
being. What shall we do with a lost love,
which wanders like a ghost through all the
chambers of the soul, only to feel how
empty they are ? There may be those
about us who are very dear ; but this love
cannot be divided among them, for it is
incapable of distribution. What remains
but to send it upward, until it finds her to
whom it belongs by right of concentration
for more than forty years. In the unselfishness
of love we wish her joy in her
immortal ascension, willing ourselves to
take the loss that hers may be the everlasting gain.
—Benjamin Morgan Palmer