Crazy Calvinist

How many of us at some time in our life have kept a diary or journal? Even if only in childhood? Yet many people will faithfully keep a journal year after year after year.
One of the puritan doctrines that was faithfully preached and yet has all but disappeared in our age, is that of self examination. I do not know why this is, unless it is to do with the feel good factor, and that if many of us examined honestly the state of our own hearts, we may be discouraged and downcast and no longer feel good.
The puritan era had many diary keepers; and this wasn’t the usual type of diary entry, but spiritual journals. A record or register of God’s dealings and transactions with us, and of our dealings, with and towards God, including their failings. A look through Richard Rogers diary, and you may get the impression of an introspective miserable creature hung up totally on his failings. Yet, the puritan diarist used these journals also as confessionals. They bore their soul, honestly and openly, to take account of their progress or lack of, and to seek the remedies to their failings.
where the doctrine of self examination has largely disappeared form us today, we too could profit from this habit of diary keeping, and thinking of it almost as a duty.
Would the church be less rich without the record of that suffering servant, David Brainerd? I think so. Out of all of Edwards published works, his diary of David Brainerd outsells the rest.
the puritans were not slow to speak on this subject either.

Richard Baxter in the saints’ Everlasting Rest suggests that when one begins to take stock, “It would not be unuseful to

write out some of the chief and those Scriptures withal which hold them forth, and so to bring this Paper with you when

you come to the examination. (conscience or self-examination)

He also further wrote: “be sure to record this sentence, so passed, write it down: or at least write it in thy memory: At

such a time upon thorough examination, I found my state to be thus or thus: this record will be very useful to thee

hereafter. It thou be ungodly: what a damp will it be to thy presumption and security, to go and read the sentence of thy

misery under thy own hand? If thou be godly: what a help will it be again the next temptation to doubting and fear, to go

and read under thy hand this record.

Isaac Ambrose also suggested the worth and value of keeping such a diary or record: “After supper, when you lie down and

are ready to sleep, and have great quietness and silence, without presence or disturbance of any, then erect a tribunal

for your own consciences.

He continues” “To this purpose we read of many Ancients that were accustomed to keep diaries or day-books of their

actions, and out of them to take an account of their lives: such a register (of god’s dealing towards him, and of his

dealings towards God in main things) the Lord put into a poor creatures heart to keep in the year 1641. ever since which

time he hath continued it, and once a year purposes by God’s grace) to examine himself by it.

Another puritan preacher, Edmund Staunton spoke of a woman whose funeral service he preached at: “She kept a diary of

God’s dealings with her soul, and of those various dispensations she met withal.” It helped her “account for various

vicissitudes of her spiritual progress and the “returns” of grace with which God has chosen to reward her.

John Beadle, the only puritan preacher who wrote a “how to keep a spiritual diary called “Diary of a thankfull

Christian” and used as his text Numbers 33:2 wrote in his own journal:

“every Christian ought to keep a record of his own actions and ways, being full of dangers and hazards; that god might

have the glory. For this command was given Moses… by God Himself; that there might be a remembrance to posterity of

the deliverance’s which God had and would work for his people and so every man though of the meanest quality, may see the

hand of the Divine Goodness work for him in the many occurrences of his life. which, as it may be a register to his own

memory, so it may be an example of gratitude to those who shall read or hear it when they shall reflect upon themselves.

John Fuller, (another puritan) wrote of God setting the pattern and example for the Christian of keeping such a record he

observes that God Himself “kept a diary in the creation of the World, Gen. 1. to president this practice to us. Yea he

keeps a Book of Remembrance for us that think upon his name…Registers our names in heaven, and shall we write down his

name, works, love in water….”

Beadle also expresses similar: “God himself seems to keep a journal by him of all the care he hath of us, the cost he

bestows upon us, and the good things he gives to us. He hath a book of remembrance of every passage of providence that

concerns us. And indeed, the scripture for a great part is little else but a history of his goodness to his people.

Beadles asked: “Where is the man that makes conscience of private fasting and prayers, that shuts himself up in his

closet, and wrestles with God in secret, that his father that seeth in secret may reward him openly? to conclude, how few

are there keep a diary by them of all God’s gracious dealings with them?”

Beadle further enquires of the christian life:

Indeed what is our whole life, but a continued deliverance? We are daily delivered. either from the violence of the creature, or the rage of men,or the treachery of our own hearts; either our houses are freed from firing, or goods from plundering, or our bodies from danger, or our names from reproaches, or our souls from snares.

Some examples of puritan diaries are as follows: John Janeway “kept a Diary in which he did write down every evening what the frame of his spirit had been all day long.”

Edmund Staunton kept “A journal or diary of God’s mercies.”

John Carter “kept a constant diary or day book, in which every day he set down God’s extraordinary dispensations, his own actions, and whatsoever memorable things he had heard, or read that day.”

John Machin “kept a diary of his life which he wrote in Characters” which probably means some form of short hand that only he could understand.

Lord Harrington after supper and after praying with his servants, “withdrew himself into his study, where he ekpt a diary or day book, wherein he recorded what he had done that day; how he had offended, or what good he had done; what temptations he had met with, and how he had resisted them…and for such failings as were fit to be known only to God and his own soul, he wrote them down in a private character, which none could read but himself, and then betook himself to his rest.”

Bishop Burnet, conveyed that even the Lord Chief Justice of England under Charles II, Sir Matthew Hale had had a wild youth, who repented, forsook his former ways, turned to religion, and started to keep a diary in which he set down the plan of each days duties.

It seems to me, that in our day, we know ourselves in reality and our hearts very little; we under estimate or are blind to just how deceptive they are, and how they may betray us. we get caught up in the tide of life and duties such as this get ebbed out, yet it could be this very duty, one of the not so obvious ones that makes all the difference to our spirita l condition and pilgrimage. Calvin in his famous opening paragraph of the Institutes said that man needs a proper knowledge of both God and of himself.
But if taking this up, make sure it is real, authentic and honest; between yourself and God and no one else. And be brutally honest, or it will turn into a sinful activity, of no worth and perhaps to ones detriment.
The diaries that were published of puritan divines, were neveer published till after their deaths; One has nothing to lose and perhaps everything to gain. And if some things are just too personal, that you feel uncofmortable settng iti down on paper, then take the puritan example of using characters or short hand that can only be read by yourslef, and then your privacy can never be intruded upon or it accidentally fall into the wrong hands.

Poppy was a wee little mite; and very very fragile, being old and unwell. She was about half the size of most regular sized cats.  Meanie however, ever since she first started visiting, has been tall, yet in other ways, seh was hideously undeveloped through  not being fed enough; she had a kittens body. But little ME-anie has turned into a big monster, tho she’s a gentle giant to be sure.

And below we have ME-anie playing in the back yard today; ME-anie was always more nervouos being in a multple cat home, yet Poppy wouldn’t have hurt a fly, but since Pop’s passing, Meanie has gained more and more confidence and is literally thriving. Its not softened the blow to losing Poppy exactly, but its at least some good to come out of it, and she was old and ill, and none of us, man or beast can live forever.
As you can see, ME-anie is a lively little customer, but she loves to play with me there, I think she will be very glad when the warm weather comes and either the door out into the yard is open or I am out there with her.

If the Church is to gain over the world, men must recognize her faith and zeal and self-sacrificing love, and in these trace the evidences of Christ’s abiding presence with her as her living Head. In Disruption times this was what men lived and prayed for, and they did not pray in vain.  [Thomas Brown-Annals of Disruption]

I have some stuff I hope to get up soon, DV, about the puritan Richard Rogers.  But for now, I would just like to submit this poem I came across; it wasn’t for me the easiest text to understand, but,  it did seem to be telling in vivid imagery, the way God corners those who are His.

I fled Him, down the nights and down the days;
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears
I hid from Him, and under running laughter.
Up vistaed hopes I sped;
And shot, precipitated,
Adown Titanic glooms of chasmèd fears,
From those strong Feet that followed, followed after.
But with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbéd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
They beat—and a Voice beat
More instant than the Feet—
“All things betray thee, who betrayest Me.”

I pleaded, outlaw-wise,
By many a hearted casement, curtained red,
Trellised with intertwining charities;
(For, though I knew His love Who followèd,
Yet was I sore adread
Lest, having Him, I must have naught beside.)
But, if one little casement parted wide,
The gust of His approach would clash it to:
Fear wist not to evade, as Love wist to pursue.
Across the margent of the world I fled,
And troubled the gold gateways of the stars,
Smiting for shelter on their clangèd bars:
Fretted to dulcet jars
And silvern chatter the pale ports o’ the moon.
I said to Dawn: Be sudden—to Eve: Be soon;
With thy young skiey blossoms heap me over
From this tremendous Lover—
Float thy vague veil about me, lest He see!
I tempted all His servitors, but to find
My own betrayal in their constancy,
In faith to Him their fickleness to me,
Their traitorous trueness, and their loyal deceit.
To all swift things for swiftness did I sue;
Clung to the whistling mane of every wind.
But whether they swept, smoothly fleet,
The long savannahs of the blue;
Or whether, Thunder-driven,
They clanged his chariot ’thwart a heaven,
Plashy with flying lightnings round the spurn o’ their feet:—
Fear wist not to evade as Love wist to pursue.
Still with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbéd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
Came on the following Feet,
And a Voice above their beat—
“Naught shelters thee, who wilt not shelter Me.” continue

I do not and have not read fiction, of any kind, for a very long time now it seems. My reasons for this, are, that I have an illness that is likely to not give me as long on earth than I may have otherwise expected, (even given none of us know how long we have), and to me, reading fiction did not fulfill the Biblical mandate of Redeeming the time well, because there was absolutely no spiritual gain to be had by it. And reading books, any book, takes huge chunks of time.  I know other Christians who also do not read fiction, though I am unaware of what their own reasons are, but the above is mine.  It was pleasing to me under that consideration, to read In John Newton’s autobiography, how he laid aside his earthly pleasures this way,  his times of recreation in them, for very similar reasons.  The art of self denial or the practice of it to any extent,  needs to be brought back into the church as part of daily life for all professors; because many Professors, (though by far not all) wouldn’t know how to practice self denial if their life depended upon it, it often seems.  Christ said,  let any man who followed him take up his cross and deny himself, (Matt 16:24), yet by enlarge the spirit of self-denial seems to belong to a bygone age.  I also note in the below quote, that when Newton is taking of the things he laid aside, he also didn’t want learning or knowledge for its own sake; he laid them aside, realizing the real riches, were not knowledge for its own  sake,   but Christ, and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit by being nourished enough by what he fed upon, for him to practice experimental religion, and  not merely  have knowledge without understanding or practice. I’m afraid to say, that many or even most of us today, (self included) have more theology and learning than we know or have the ability to practice ind day to day life, which is a reflection of the age we live in I think, where filling our brains with as much information as we can,  because we can show off or out-do each other in our learning and knowledge, than does  heart work.

John Newton’s example is a worthy one to be followed I believe:

Having now much leisure time, I committed myself to the study of Latin with good success. In the space of two or three voyages I became tolerably acquainted with the best classics. I conceived a plan of becoming a Ciceronian myself, and I thought it would be a fine thing indeed to write pure and elegant Latin. I wrote some essays, but by this time the Lord was p leased to draw me nearer to Himself. he gave me a fuller view of the “Pearl of great price” (Matt. 13:46), the inestimable treasure hid in the file of the Holy Scriptures. For the ake of this, I was willing to part with all my newly-acquired riches.
I began to think that life was too short, especially my life, for such elaboratete trifling. Neither poet nor historian could tell me a word of Jesus, and I therefore applied myself to those who could. the classics were at first confined to one morning in te week, and at length, completely laid aside I prefer Buchanan’s Psalms to a whole shelf of Elzevirs. I have gained much from Latin since it enables me to read any useful or interesting book in that language. Beyond this, however, I have no interest. About the same time, and for the same reason, I laid aside mathematics. I found that it not only took up considerable time, but also so engrossed my thoughts that my  head was literally full of it. I was weary of cold, contemplative truths that can neither warm nor amend the heart, but rather tend to amplify self. I found no traces of this “wisdom” in the life of Jesus or the writings of Paul. I do not regret that I have had some opportunities of knowing the first principles of these things, but I praise the Lord that He inclined me to stop in time. While I was “spending my labour for that which is not bread” (Isa. 55:2), he was pleased to set before me “wine and milk, without money and without price” (Isa. 55:1)
—John Newton “Out of the depth’s”

I watched this video earlier, was somewhat fascinated by it, wondering how it was going to end. And also because some years ago, it could have been written by me. Thought about posting it at first as an encouragement to the survivors of abuse, as it struck me perhaps it was written from that angle. The girl in the video, who wrote the poem or text, keeps talking about how people always care, lots and lots of them, and how you don’t have to cope alone. That is not always true, its not been true for me for a very long time now, though I have friends, they are far away. But, there is also another common hyperbole in this poem or text, that the person considering suicide has low self-esteem, and a low opinion of themselves. Actually, that is not true, it is what we have been led to understand in by the psychiactric movement all pervading our lives as far as us knowing the diagnoses and causes of so-called mental illness, it is one of the great myths of our age. Yet, people considering or about to take their own life, are actually experiencing the very opposite of low self-esteem. They are hurting, without a doubt, but the reason they are considering taking their own life, is because they believe they deserve better in life than they have; better from people, or just better from life in general, which actually indicates quite high-self esteem, that they think more or themselves than perhaps other people do, and they think they deserve better.
Friends, you, I, and everyone is deserving of hell. Anything we have above that, is a manifold blessing and a reason to praise God in thankfulness.
I could understand where the author was coming from, having felt every thing she wrote at one time or another. Yet, the thing I have disagreed with in this post are still true.
Of course, some of us are dying a long, agonizingly painful death alone; albeit slowly. And when you have no loved ones or dependants, a perfect scenario has been made for euthanasia. And yes, in the last few year at times that has seemed a viable option, perhaps the only option, open to me. But no: yes, I feel my aloneness deeply at times, till it cut like a knife and pierces my heart and till it feel so tortuous while so sick, that it feels like a knife in my heart and that I can’t stand it another moment; but, friends are the answer as the video suggests? Well, friends and loved ones are a blessing, and are part of the solution and answer no doubt, as we all need people, none of us are an island. But the only lasting answer, or complete answer, is the love of Jesus Christ.
My days are hard at times, when my illness increases and the isolation in such phsyical suffering feels like it will send me insane. And at those times, I do not in all honesty, know how to not feel all I feel, not yet at least. Yet, at any other time but those times, when still suffering beyond what most people can imagine, in illness, and still all alone, except for my cat, depite the gravity of the suffering, through the love of Christ and the power of His Spirit, I have honestly been enabled to say at any other times, and mean it with my whole heart, that HIS grace is sufficient, the Lord is my portion, and that I have learned to be content whatsoever my condition. All except those times above, I would say this is true for me.
Yes, Euthansia or self-murder has seemed an option at times, who wouldn’t it do to anyone in a similar boat? But, if you learn to be content whatsoever one’s condition, then no matter one’s condition, you can say along with Paul, also, that to live is Christ, to die is gain. [2 Cor 12:9; Phil. 4:11; Psalm 73:26; Phil. 1:19-23; Phil. 3:8-9;]

To close this post with another video, yet unlike the first one, this one is through the eyes of faith:

Geoffrey chaucer tells In the Canterbuy Tales, is much like the characters of many real, historical puritans. Sadly, through the ages, we have gone from Chaucer’s quite accurate depiction, to the cardboard cut outs and caricatures we so often see today, as a representation of “puritanism” when, these “representation” for the most part, goes way beyond poetic licence, to border on slander, and even stark lies.  But enough truth has been left, that if we want to see who or what these  men and women were in actual fact, we can do o today, despite the passing of time, which is often not the case in  many instances. It is not so easy to defend John Calvin for instance, against all the hatred that is out there against him. And his writings, which we have translations of not in his original language written, could quite often mean other things than how they have been translated. Unless we understood the language he used at the TIME, he wrote it, (and many of us English speaking folk do not even understand English from those days) and also understand the times that Calvin lived in, that what may seem cruel or unjust to us today, was common place in those days, as one thing Calvin was, was a man of his time.  But that should give caution to folks who take issues of life, rather than Scripture passages which Calvin has exposited, and think they know what Calvin said on thi subject or that because of the translations we have available to us today, that the translations may actually be in some parts, stating the case far different to how Calvin intended when he wrote the original text, because of the above issues and perhaps some besides.

But the puritans it is not so hard as it to get a clear picture, even though the misrepresentations of them are perhaps even more rife than that of Calvin.  The Bible says Woe to them who call good evil, and evil good, and in the cases of both Calvin and the puritans, and more figures from the Reformation era, we have this very syndrome often times.  I could cite several sources, but, I think the reader is probably already aware of many of them, so unless anyone asks, I will not do so in the post.  But Chaucer’s depiction of his puritan he met on the way to Canterbury goes like this:

“His business and his opportunity was to preach to the people but in order to preach successfully he must preach to the people, must preach what the people would listen to and think they understood. He must preach what could be practiced, and he must himself practice what he preached. The preacher has to say that a man’s chief concern sould be with teh welfare of his own soul, that he m ust not let his life be swallowed up in immediate and material affairs but must dedicate it to spiritual ends.
—William Haller “The Rise of Puritanism” pp. 4

Chaucer lived in the fourteenth century, two or three centuries before the age of that which is known as puritanism began. Yet, he depicted the character quite accurately, and more than many modern day writers do, and sadly, even more than many who are part of the Reformed church. If we remain ignorant on such matters, that is our choice. But it is a choice. We have a duty to our God, and to our Reformed fore fathers to not remain ignorant, because to do so, we not only do so to the detriment of our own souls and spiritual welfare, we also do so, at the risk of harm and damage to the Reformed faith.

There are plenty of places in Scripture that give us warrant and duty to study Christian history, Psalm 78 is one that easily comes to mind, as does verses 4-5 from Psalm 22
There are other places in Scripture that also give a warrant to of course, it is not only a great encouragement to our faith, a strengthening of it, to see how God delivered or worked among his church through the ages, but it also helps us, to not tarnish the memory or testimony of those who paid with their blood for the love of Christ. Sadly there are too many who do so. And for me, its one of those things that steps upon my bllue suede shoes of Christendom. But whether puritan history, Reformed history, or any aspect, it is our duty to be learned in such matters, and Scripture calls us to it on many occassions, yet, it is sadly a subject oft neglected, and folk can fail to see the import of or relevance to us in our lives today. But it is HIStory. It does and always will have relevance, because of that alone.

Canterbury Tales

Defining terms:

I have  had many people contact me over time, and almost the first words they say to me is< ” I am also a puritan at heart”  I was reading in a book by Leonard J Coppes,  “The Ten points of Calvinism, Is five points enough?”  how we all need to understand and use terms the same way as those we are talking to, or while we say and mean one thing, someone else will say exactly verbatim the same words, and they will mean something completely different by it.

so I am after reader participation on this  If you consider yourself to be a puritan at heart also, what basis do you make that assertion and why do you believe that to be true?  There is no right or wrong answer, yet I do have very clear ideas what makes for folk in actual fact being true puritan at hearts and what doesn’t I have known folk who would  have described themself as such, while disagreeing with the puritans on almost everything. That is an oxymoron, and we need to use terms carefully. If we are claiming to be puritans at heart, then we do not want to tarnish the great tetimony they left us and future generations, by actually being anything but, and so misrepresenting them. This is  someting I have felt strongly about for a long time, having seen folk take this name to themself and do the puritan cause much harm and damage by doing so, by their views being anything but puritan like.

So let us define terms, and if  you consider yourself to be a puritan at heart, then please state in the comments why you do so

I needed to read these words today:

2 Corinthians 1:9

By this scripture I was made to see that if ever I would suffer rightly, I must first pass a sentence of death upon every thing that can be properly called a thing of this life, even to reckon myself, my wife, my children, my health, my enjoyment, and all, as dead to me, and myself as dead to them. The second was, to live upon God that is invisible, as Paul said in another place; the way not to faint, is to “look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
—John Bunyan

I had to have Poppy, that little sweet bundle that the world rejected and mistreated till I had her at twelve and a half years old, put to sleep. She was 15, and was not happy any longer and was almost continuously ill. It was the kindest thing to do. I only had her two and a half years, yet she came on a mission from God of that much I have been sure for a long time, and she accommplished it, and left her footprints all over my heart, by how she had always been mistreated, and yet didn’t seem to have an evil or aggressive bone in her body, but was utterly sweet and a gentle, kind soul But she’s not suffering any longer.

As for the Bunyan quote I have lost my health, ad ME-anie my younger cat is all I have now in this world as far as “family” or loved ones, at least in my physical world. So, I needed to be reminded of that quote, as several months ago, I made a choice, that I was willing and ready to let Pops go when the time came, even though I have so little, believing that if I am left with nothing at all, not health, or any pet or any human, that the Lord can still accomplish the good work he started. Doesn’t mean I am not sad, or grieved, that that sweet little bundle is no longer here. She was special, there’s no doubt about it. And she’ll be in my heart as long as I live.

Rest well, my sweet Poppy

I have been much blessed by the writings I have read by John Bunyan, and also reading of his life. Here was a largely uneducated man, a common tinker, who when it came to the spiritual was a genius. Someone like Bunyan, with little to no real education, gives folks like me likewise has had little to no education, great hope, by how he was used by God, despite his not being one of the learned or well bred, or  educated, and  yet, he too was looked down upon for his lack of  learning  in his day, much as folks can be today.  Charles II asked John Owen, in a disparaging way, why he went to hear the common tinker preach. Owen was an educated man, with a brilliant mind, some would say too brilliant for his own writings to be understood easily by the masses, as his genius often got the better of him, for being able to put his thoughts down, in  a way that the rest of us could easily understand. But Owen replied to the king:he would gladly give up all his learning for the tinker’s power of reaching the heart.

Spiritualizing from the pulpit or otherwise, is generally not well done. It often makes for foolishness and stretching a text of Scripture into the realms of absurdity by what is made out of the text that was never intended. Much more trained minds than Bunyan  have fallen at even attempting this. John Gill is a notable one. Gill, is still appreciated by many, and his name lives  on as one of those Baptists who helped make history, and we still have many of his works in print today. But when it came to the art of spiritualizing from the pulpit, Gill failed dismally at being effective at it.  His exposition for instance of the parable of the prodigal son, in which he tells us the “fatted calf” was that of our Lord Jesus Christ. And again in his exposition of the Good Samaritan, the ass or donkey on which the wounded man was placed, was again our Lord Jesus Christ, and the two pence that  that the Samaritan gave to the host,  are the “old and New Testaments” or the ordinances of the “Lord’s Supper and Baptism” The spiritualizing clearly becomes absurd. And it is not just stretching the text, but taking it out of all context and placing meanings on it never intended. There are numerous other examples besides that of John Gill I could cite where this spiritualizing of the text, becomes absurd and maybe even offensive. But I think the name of Gill and his reputation makes he alone an ample example.  However, the immortal dreamer, John Bunyan, who as most will recognize as the master of the allegory,  made spiritualizing into an art, and a stroke of genius, that not many before or sin have been or will be imbued with, and they will be wise to not even try it, because for the most part, they will wander into the realms of the absurd.  Bunyan had a poetic gift, he also was a dreamer, and this gave him the keen imagination and  insight, to make allegories as living or real examples, and for them to not become absurd.  This is one such text below where his spiritualizing turns into genius

The leaves of this gate or door, as I told you before, were folding, and so, as was hinted, have something of signification in them. For by this means a man especially a young disciple, may easily be mistaken; thinking that the whole passage, when yet but a part was open, whereas three parts may be yet kept undiscovered to him. For these doors, as I said before, were never yet set wide open, I mean in the anti-type; never yet saw all the riches and fullness which is in Christ. So that I say to a new comer, if he judged by present sight, especially if he saw but little, might easily be mistaken, wherefore, such for the most part are most horribly afraid that they shall never get in thereat. How sayest thou, young comer, is this not the case with thy soul? So it seems to thee that thou art too big, being so great, so tun-bellied a sinner! But O thou sinner, fear not, the doors are folding doors and may be opened wider, and wider again after that; wherefore when thou comest to this gate, and imaginest that there is not space enough for thee to enter,  knock and it shall be wider opened to thee, and thou shalt be recieved (Luke 11:9; John 6:37). So then, whoever thou art come to the door of which the temple was a type, trust not thy first conception of  things, but believe there is grace abundant. Thou knowest not yet what Christ can do, the doors are folding doors. He can do exceeding abundantly above all that we can ask or think (Eph. 3:20). The hinges on which these doors do hang, were, as I told you, gold; to signify that they both turned upon motives and motions of love, and also that the openings thereof were rich.  Golden hingest the gate to God doth turn upon. The posts on which these doors did hang were of the olive tree, that fat and oily tree, to show that they never do open with lothness, or slggishness as doors do whose hinges want oil. They are always oily, and so open easily and quickly to those who knock at them. Hence you read that he who dwells in this house gives freely, loves freely, and doth us good with all his heart. “Yea,” saith he, “I will rejoice over them to do them good, and I will plant them in this land assuredly, with my whole heart, and my whole soul.” Jer. 3:12, 14:22; 32:41, Rev. 21:6; 22:17. Wherefore, the oil of grace, signified by this oily tree, or these olive-posts, on which these doors do  hang, do cause that they open glibly, or frankly to the soul.
—John Bunyan on the leaves of the gate of Solomon’s temple.

As one of Bunyan’s biographer’s wrote about The Pilgrim’s Progress:

There is no question of the work of genius in the Pilgrim’s Progress. Taine, the
great critic, says that Bunyan has the freedom, the tone, ease and clearness of
Homer. The first edition of the Pilgrim reveals the fact that Bunyan was a
natural writer, and not a product of the schools. Take his spelling, for instance.
When it came to spelling Josh Billings could not hold a candle to him. We
know that there was a good deal of off-side spelling in that day, but Bunyan
never let the spelling book get in his way. For example, he spelled the word die
in three ways: “die,” “dye,” and “dy”; he wrote for Slough of Despond, “Slow
of Dispond”; “ay” for aye; “bien” for been; “bruit” for brute; and “ray-ment”
and “rainment” for raiment; “strodled” for straddled.
It is said that there is nothing remarkable in doubling the final consonant in
such words as “generall” and “untill,” for that was the seventeenth century
custom, but Bunyan doubles it in such words as “bogg,” “denn,” “ragg,”
“wagg,” and, what is even more unusual, he doubles the medial in such words
as, “hazzard,” “fellon,” “eccho,” “widdow.” He dropped his final e’s, writing
“knowledg,” “bridg,” but he uses the “e” to give the old plural form, making it
“shooes,” “braines,” “alwaies.” He was strong on colloquial expressions and
grammatical irregularities, writing “catched up,” “shewen,” “ditest,” “then for
to go,” “I should a been,” “afraid on’t,” “such as thee and I,” “you was.”
Bunyan did not spell brains according to the dictionary, but he had them all the
same, and all that is needed to produce a great book is brains. You can write
your book with lead pencil on butcher’s paper, spell like Josh Billings, and
disregard punctuation marks, but if you have “braines” or “brains” — either
form will do as long as you have them — a hard-boiled publisher will even
send you a prepaid telegram accepting your book.
It is said that the printer corrected a good deal of the spelling in the first
edition. I wonder if any writer is a genius to his proofreader? [William Hamilton Nelson]

Yet despite his obvious lack in the wys above, his heart and spiritual accumen, made him a genius. The Immortal dreamer, that everyone, Calvinist and any other stripe of Christian alike, all recognize the name of.

[2 quotes owing to each one's brevity]

Do not drown yourself because you are recommended to bathe, or hang yourself on an oak because tannin is described as a valuable astringent. An allowable thing carried to excess is a vice, even as fire is a good servant in the grate, but a bad master when raging in a burning house.
—Charles Spurgeon

We are justified and saved by the very righteousness of Christ, and no other. He wrought it, though we wear it.
—John Flavel

One thing that is quite clear, about the majority of Christians today, (self included) is that we do not have knowledge and indepth understanding that the puritans had nor before them the  Reformers.  The Bible was at the heart of the reformation, to making it accessible to the common man, and it not being shut up in darkness and obscurity and only having what the Pope said to understand and be able to interpret it for the common people. Our forefathers, paid for the freedom and easy accessibility we have today to the pages of God’s Word, with their blood and very lives often times. And what do we today do with this inestimable treasure? we do not prize it, as they did, at least over all, that is to be sure.. They had the Word in their hearts, as Scripture tells us to have it.  They were Biblicists in the real sense of the word, (and believe it or not I have even heard them called that in a way of trying to put them down!) Oh for more  such Biblicists among us today.  Knowledge or rather ignorance of the Bible, its teachings, God’s will, God Himself and Christ, are, in my opinion one of the major causes for the church to be in its current state of declination.  Even among  parts of the so-called Reformed church.  To know Him is to love him, that much is true. The more we know HIM, the more we will love HIM, and the more we will be the shining lights that we should be.  Rather than groping our way along, still in darkness and not being able to discern if we turn to the right or the left, so limping blindly on regardless and hoping for the best.  That we, of the Reformed faith, are no less culpable of this than any other branch of Christianity, is an abomination, when the Bible and its freedom and accessibility and availability to the common man,  was at the heart of the Reformation, and that they started off not having that glorious liberty we have today. And yet, we turn liberty to licentiousness, by refusing or rejecting the godly liberty of a Bible for every man, woman and child; to the ungodly liberties we find in the pleasures of the world.

Today we have Bible memorization programmes, and the technology to help them stick, such as this one by John Piper’s  ministry So, what excuse do we have. And also, God makes it quite clear, that ignorance is not an excuse for sin. And I myself have long believed, that ignorance is often a choice.

A New England Antinomian  was heard to utter:

I had rather hear such a one that speaks from mere notion of the Spirit, without any study at all, than any of your learned scholars, although he maybe fuller of Scripture.

Which would also seem to confirm my theory that often, ignorance is a choice.

According to a biography on John Bruen, Robert Pasfield who was an illiterate servant of Bruen’s was:

“a man utterly unlearned, being unable to read a sentence or write a sylablle. Yet he was so well acquainted with the history of the Bible, and the sum and substance of every book and chapter, that hardly could any ask him where such a sayinkg or sentence were, but he would with very little ado tell them in what book, and what chapter they might find it.”

We all have to start somewhere. You can’t expect a two year old Christian to have the vast stores of understanding and knowledge  that a 15 year old on will have. But if after, considerable time has passed, and  medical reasons notwithstanding, that could cause it,   the person remains ignorant as many a new born babe, then, I think that person should do some soul searching to ask why it is so.

Lord perseve us from ignorance, and from choosing the worldly pelasures to the dteriment of spiritual concerns. Give us grace to perservere, even when we don’t see  progress, but trust that your grace is sufficient, in this matter, as much as it is, in any other. In Jesus, Name. Amen.

This seems like it maybe an appropriate post to start off my series of “Reformed or Deformed” which at the moment I am trying to organize in my mind to set down on paper in an organized way.

This song has long resonated with me. As I have always made friends easily, yet, nothing in this world is permanent, and one thing that becomes plainer to me by the day almost, when as ill as I am, and all alone, apart from my two cats, is this world is not my home. I am an alien and a stranger here in more ways than most, and very ltitle to tie me to it. God keeps me here for a purpose that much I know, but very little do I have to make me want to stay here, apart from chronic and severe suffering day in and day out; and the worst of that suffering, even though the illness can be beyond words to describe how bad it can get, is forever the lonliness, and feeling no one I know can understand most things about me, my life, so that I am left feeling like the little alien no one understands.

I love and I laugh, and I love deeply when I do.  Probably one of those folk who loves too much. I think the way my cats thrive with me, especially the oldest one against all reason, shows that. As they get the greatest share of my love day to day.  But at the end of the day, I feel like the little hobo in the song, who makes friends, wherever they go, and always has done,  but, has no real resting place in this world.  Below the lyrics I shall include the video of the song too:

There’s a voice that keeps on calling me
Down the road, that’s where I’ll always be.
Every stop I make, I make a new friend,
Can’t stay for long, just turn around and I’m gone again

Maybe tomorrow, I’ll want to settle down,
Until tomorrow, I’ll just keep moving on.

Down this road that never seems to end,
Where new adventure lies just around the bend.
So if you want to drive me for a while,
Just grab your hat, come travel light, that’s hobo style.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll want to settle down,
Until tomorrow, the whole world is my home.

So if you want to join me for a while,
Just grab your hat, come travel light, that’s hobo style

Maybe tomorrow, I’ll want to settle down,
Until tomorrow, I’ll just keep moving on.

Maybe tomorrow, I’ll want to settle down,
Until tomorrow, I’ll just keep moving on.

There’s a world that’s waiting to unfold,
A brand new tale no-one has ever told.
We’ve journeyed far far and know it wont be long;
We’re almost there, and we’ve paid our fare with our hobo song.

Maybe tomorrow, I’ll want to settle down,
Until tomorrow, I’ll just keep moving on.

So if you want to join me for a while,
Just grab your hat, come travel light, that’s hobo style.

Maybe tomorrow, I’ll find what I call home, Until tomorrow, you know I’m free

Joseph dismissed his brethren with a seasonable caution, “See that ye fall not out by the way.” He knew they were too apt to be quarrelsome; and having forgiven them all, he lays this charge upon them, not to upbraid one another. This command our Lord Jesus has given to us, that we love one another, and that whatever happens, or has happened, we fall not out. For we are brethren, we have all one Father. We are all guilty, and instead of quarrelling with one another, have reason to fall out with ourselves. We are, or hope to be, forgiven of God, whom we have all offended, and, therefore, should be ready to forgive one another. We are “by the way,” a way through the land of Egypt, where we have many eyes upon us, that seek advantage against us; a way that leads to the heavenly Canaan, where we hope to be for ever in perfect peace.
–Matthew Henry Commentary on Gensis 45

It seems to me, that what sets the puritans apart, from the majority, is spiritual maturity, which is sadly lacking in our world today. They didn’t have the comfort and ease that we can so oft easily indulge in today.  And tho they enjoyed the good things in life, in a temperate manner, they times of recreation or leisure was not set apart as separate from the rest of their Christian life. They were Christians all the time. Whether in the home, in the world, in their secular callings at work, at play, as well as in the church. They took the Bible exhortation literally, of whatever we do, do all to the glory of God. But there were no lines of separation in their lives, all of life, was a life of faith, and setting  God before their eyes no matter the time, occasion, place or event. This very firmly, IMO, sets them apart from most today. And it is why we so need their teachings in our world today, because we have much we can learn from them still, and until we do,  and return to the old paths that they trod, I do not believe the church will ever get her glory back.

The puritans sealed their faith as history testifies too, so often with their blood. They were a suffering people, and prepared to suffer even unto death. It is very easy for us to believe we would do the same, when it is unlikely to ever be anything we have to face as a reality. But until the church matures from its current state, over-all at least, you can take those who say they would be glad to pay the cost of their blood or suffering for Christ as just what it is, that of talk. And talk is always, always cheap and easy.   The pruitans were a doing people. Including that of sealing their testimonies with their blood all too often. They had an ongoing, furnace experience. Is this the reason for their maturity, that we lack today? Perhaps it is. These men (and women) were spiritual giants, yet, too often we only experience Spiritual dwarfism today. May the God of Heaven, give us the same heart, spirits, and quest for God, that these men lived out, to leave a testimony that IMO, by mere men, has never been surpassed.

As George Whitefield was to write:

Ministers never write or preach so well as when under the cross; the Spirit of Christ and of glory then rests upon them. It was this, no doubt, that made the Puritans…such burning and shining lights. When cast out by the Black Bartholomew Act [the 1662 Act of uniformity] and driven from their respective charges to preach in barns and fields, in the highways and hedges, they, in an especial manner, wrote and preached as men having authority. Though dead, by their writings they yet speak; a peculiar unction attends them to this very hour.
—-George Whitefield From the Preface of a Reprint of John Bunyan’s works.

Jacob gives up Joseph for gone, and Simeon and Benjamin as in danger; and concludes, All these things are against me. It proved otherwise, that all these things were for him, were working together for his good, and the good of his family. We often think that to be against us, which is really for us. We are afflicted in body, estate, name, and in our relations; and think all these things are against us, whereas they are really working for us a weight of glory. Thus does the Lord Jesus conceal himself and his favor, thus he rebukes and chastens those for whom he has purposes of love. By sharp corrections and humbling convictions he will break the stoutness and mar the pride of the heart, and bring to true repentance. Yet before sinners fully know him, or taste that he is gracious, he consults their good, and sustains their souls, to wait for him. May we do thus, never yielding to discouragement, determining to seek no other refuge, and humbling ourselves more and more under his mighty hand. In due time he will answer our petitions, and do for us more than we can expect.

I ordered some books today; some of them are ones I have wanted to get hold of for a while, and it is likely to be the last time I am able to spend that much money on books at once. I am sharing them with any readers who have an interest in puritanism, in case they are titles you may not be aware of and because at least a couple of them are worthy of pointing out a few things about:

The Above Title along with William Haller’s Rise of Puritanism are worthy of special note. Because until around 50-60 years ago, puritanism was very much still a dirty word, a by-word, and people really had a cock-eyed impresssion of who the puritans were, what they stood for, and the lives they lived.  These two books are two that earlier this century helped to set the record straight.  And perhaps started the tide turning, so that in those days, there was around 10-25 puritan titles printed in the preceding fifty years, that in the fifty years since then,  it well into treble figures, and around 50-60 new titles are being printed every year that was written by the puritans. Another book I ordered of which the same is true as the two preceding book is this one:

These 3 titles in particular I have wanted for some time. If we are going to either encourage their thought, or refute and reject any group of people’s thoughts or ideology then the least we can do, is have an informed opinion,  one not based on fable or folk-lore, or the BBC, but  by things that have been proved to be fact and some good men have set these things down on paper just for the very reason that we need not be ignorant.

A couple more I ordered as relatively inexpensive paperbacks were these:

If I had to pick just 2 or 3 as recommendations, it would either be William Haller,  Worldly Saint’s and/or Visible Saint’s. I’ve heard enough to know they changed the face of how the  puritans as a group of people are perceived, though sadly, much ignorance does still reign over this issue, which is the reason for this blog post, because today, we have no justification for ignorance to continue forever.

However, I do want to add a short anecdote I heard last weekend, as far as exhorting or reading the puritans.  That we can read all we like, it is only a walk and life to match, and  a heart cleansed by Christ’s blood in sanctification that will lead us to purer lives and purity in the puritan vein.  I heard  a well known preacher relate this tale the weekend and I shall use my own words to get across what he said. He knew a man who had a vast puritan library. He was very proud of his library. He was thought to be a pillar of the Christian community,  and a bright light.  But what no one outside of his home knew, was that next to his wonderfully spiritually rich puritan library, in the next room, he had a different kind of library, of shelf after shelf of triple X movies, and the police had raided him, and he was now in prison on pornography charges and was an active and practicing homosexual. AS Christ so wisely said, and it applies no less to good stuff as bad stuff, that it is not what goes in that defiles a man, (or improves him) its what comes out, as that shows what is in our hearts.

Remember that song by Stealer’s Wheel, “Stuck in the middle with you” that included the lines:

Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you.

I sometimes feel like that about my feline family as they are part of me now; I am not a cat person! I never have been, and then Poppy and Meanie came and ran away with my heart! And Now, we also have Oliver, (cuz he sits outside the door like a waif and stray) coming for food too, and has  one eye on perhaps moving in!

The first two videos was ME-anie playing this morning, and third one is Oliver a couple of days ago:

Oliver:

I have been reading John Newton’s autobiography “out of the depths” and in many ways, the way he was taken to a thorough conversion was extraordinary even in his day. In my own lot in life, one of extraordinary suffering, I often feel that the puritans and people of that time, could relate to what I endure and experience more than anyone I know alive today. I’m thankful for this great cloud of witnesses, and want to share a short something by Newton now, there is also something else I would like to share over the next day or two from the same source, one which I relate to very much, and often burdens my soul, yet to know Newton also experienced the same thing, is of some small comfort. But for now

All true believers walk by the same rule and mind the same things. The Word of God is their compass, Jesus is both their polar star and their sun of righteousness, and their hearts and faces are all  zion-ward. They are as one body, animated by one spirit yet their experiences, formed upon these common principles, are far from being uniform. The Lord in his first call, and his following providential actions, regards the situation, temperament, and talents of each and the particular services or trials he has appointed for them. All are tested at times yet some pass through the voyage of life much more smoothly than others. But he who “walketh upon the wings of the wind” (Psalm 104:3) and “measures the water in the hollow of his hand” (Isa. 40:12) will not suffer any in his charge to perish in the storms, although for a season perhaps, many of them are ready to give up hope.
—John Newton

Any of you relate to the genie in the bottle of grief?

You can go on for weeks, months, and barely give the source of the grief a thought; you make a deliberate choice to not dwell on it, not think about it, so that you can just get on with your life to the glory of God, as best as you can. But then, its brought to  mind one way or another, and the wound once re-opened is like the genie in the bottle you can’t stop back up.

Let me ever hold in grateful reverence and estimation that Sabbath which commemorates the resurrection of my Saviour. O, on this day, may I always be enabled to hold fellowship with the Father and the Son–honouring the Son even as I honour the Father; and rendering the tributes of  all my acknowledgements to Him who is God over all, blessed forever. Amen.
—-Thomas Chalmers “Sabbath Scripture Readings” Luke xxiv

I used to dream of a world like this, but now, I know for me at least, it will only be realized in death, and release from this prison my body makes. Sometimes that day, can’t come too soon.

Nella Fantasia

ENGLISH TRANSLATION

In my fantasy I see a fair world,
Where everyone lives in peace and honesty.
I dream of a place to live that is always free,
Like a cloud that floats,
Full of humanity in the depths of the soul.

In my fantasy I see a bright world
Where each night there is less darkness.
I dream of spirits that are always free,
Like the cloud that floats.

In my fantasy exists a warm wind,
That breathes into the city, like a friend.
I dream of souls that are always free,
Like the cloud that floats,
Full of humanity in the depths of the soul

Nella fantasia io vedo un mondo giusto,
Li tutti vivono in pace e in onestà.
Io sogno d’anime che sono sempre libere,
Come le nuvole che volano,
Pien’ d’umanità in fondo all’anima.

Nella fantasia io vedo un mondo chiaro,
Li anche la notte è meno oscura.
Io sogno d’anime che sono sempre libere,
Come le nuvole che volano.

Nella fantasia esiste un vento caldo,
Che soffia sulle città, come amico.
Io sogno d’anime che sono sempre libere,
Come le nuvole che volano,
Pien’ d’umanità in fondo all’anima

I am not one of these folks who believes there is never a time to judge, I think Scripture clearly says that there is.  However, I have also seen in action,  the law without love,  which pretty much amounts to what this picture says. (1 Cor. 13)

I have a significant amount I would like and hope to say on The dreamer, John Bunyan over the coming time, (DV); but for now, I offer two poems on this man of God. One from William Cowper, the other from Rudyard Kipling.

May we all learn to live our faith, with the convictions of the immortal dreamer, Bunyan, and have our consciences bound to God alone as he did.

William Cowper:

“Oh thou, whom borne on fancy’s eager wing,
Back to the season of Life’s happy spring,
I pleased remember and while memory yet holds
Fast her office here can never forget.
Ingenious dreamer, in whose well-told tale
Sweet fiction and sweet truth alike prevail;
Whose humorous vein strong sense and simple style
May teach the gayest, make the bravest smile;
Witty and well employed, and like thy Lord,
Speaking in parables His slighted word.”
“Rather Than Thus to Violate My Faith and Principle”

Rudyard Kipling:

“A tinker out of Bedford,
A vagrant oft in quod,
A private under Fairfax,
A minister of God;
Two hundred years and thirty
Ere Armageddon came
His single hand portrayed it,
And Bunyan was his name.
“All enemy divisions,
Recruits of every class,
And highly screened positions
For flame or poison-gas;
The craft that we call modern,
The crimes that we call new,
John Bunyan had ‘em typed and filed
In Sixteen Eighty-two.
“He mapped for those who followed,
The world in which we are —
This famous town of ‘Mansoul’
That makes the Holy War.
Her true and traitor people
The gates along her wall,
From Eye Gate into Feel Gate,
John Bunyan showed them all.”

It is a common theme in Christian history, that well known historical figures lost their mothers when very young, and it is often the case, that their mothers were deeply devout, and pious women, who in the few short years into their own lives lived, exerted a strong influence over their sons.  John Calvin, John Bunyan, and John Newton to name just three that come to Mind. Calvin lost his mother when he was six, Newton when he was seven, and Bunyan, when  a little older. The one name of course recognized throughout the Reformed world is Monica, mother of Augustine.

The little bit I read of Joseph Hall’s mother, resonated with me. As it is often the case, that the suffering are thought to be of no use, of no account, and quite set aside from those more prosperous and are left to languish. Yet, it is often the case, that those who  have been in the school of Christ, the school of very severe suffering,  have insights into spiritual things, that prosperity clouds from view.  Joseph Hall’s memory of his mother, seemed to confirm this also.

As Robert Browning wrote in his well known “Walked a Mile”

I walked a mile with Pleasure,
She chattered all the way;
But left me none the wiser
for all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow
and ne’er a word said she
But oh the thing I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me.

I want to quote a little excerpt from the Life of Joseph Hall by the Rev. James Hamilton. Hall  was born on July 1, 1574.

His mother, Winifred Bambridge, was the Monica of Bishop Hall. A body always feeble and often anguish-stricken, was the appropriate tenet of a spirit sorrowful and sorely exercised. But happily the clouds which at one time shaded the piety of this excellent woman, did not render it forbidding to the more genial temper of her son. He rejoiced in the light when others would have complained of the halo, nor refused to be conducted to the Kingdom by a guide whose countenance was sometimes sad, And he at last had the satisfaction of seeing her set free from these vexing thoughts, and deriving the joy of a religion of hope. “What with these trials, so had she profited in the school of Christ, that it was hard for any friend to come from her discourse no whit holier. How often have I blessed the memory of those divine passages of experimental divinity which I have  heard from her mouth! What day did she pass without a large task of private devotion, whence she would still come forth with a countenance of  undissembled mortification. Never any lips have read to me such feeling lectures of piety; neither have I known any soul that more accurately practiced them than her own. Temptations, desertions, and spiritual comforts, were her usual theme; her life and death were saint-like”

Eighth Pastoral Letter

Warnings to the Unsaved—Causes Why So Many Among Us are Unsaved.

Edinburgh, March 20, 1839.

TO all of you my dear flock, who are dearly beloved and I longed for, my joy and crown, your pastor wishes grace, mercy, and peace, from God our Father, and from our Lord Jesus Christ.

In my last letter I showed you that, in all human probability, there are many of you to whom I have preached the gospel of salvation, to whom I shall never preach it again face to face. I cannot be blind to the many dangers that accompany foreign travel—the diseases and accidents to which we shall be exposed; but if, through your prayers, I be given to you again, how many blanks shall I find in my flock! How many dear children of God gone to be “where the weary are at rest,” where the imperfect “are made perfect!” How many of you that have stood out against all the invitations of Christ, and all the warnings of God, shall I find departed, to give in your account before the throne! It is to these last I wish now to speak.

For two years I have testified to you the gospel of the grace of God. I came to you in “weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling;” and if the case of the children of God and of backsliding souls has often lain heavy at my heart, I can truly say that your dreadful condition—“settled like wine upon her lees,” when you are about to be “turned upside down, as a man turneth a dish and wipeth it”—has been a continued anxiety to me; and sometimes, when I have had glimpses of the reality of eternal things, it has been an insupportable agony to my spirit. I know well that this is a jest to you, that you care not whether ministers go or stay; and if you get a short sermon on the Sabbath day that will soothe and not prick your conscience, that is all you care for. Still, it may be the Lord who opened Manasseh’s heart will open yours, while I go over solemnly, in the sight of God, what appear to be the chief reasons that, after my two years’ ministry among you, there are still so many unconverted, perishing souls. continue

The children of this world have their all in hand, and nothing in hope, Luke 16:25; while the children of God have their all in hope, and next to nothing in hand.
—Matthew Henry Commentary on Genesis 36

Here we read of John Knox answering the call to the ministry as called out by John Rough.
If ever there was no man more suited to the ministry and who worked great things by the power of God by his ministry, it would be Knox. Yet today, it often seems, that people enter the ministry without any real calling to. They may have some notion that they can do good, yet, if unsuited and it not being their true calling, they may be responsible for being the instrument for many souls to perish. Being a Christian, is no reason to think one has what it takes to be a minister of the Gospel. The state of the ministry today, in much of Christendom, validates this. The call if the ministry is a very special and high calling. Those who have the calling and are faithful ministers for Christ and his gospel, is a different thing entirely from those who on some notion that has nothing of God given wisdom behind it, think themselves fit to enter the ministry to do so, and do far more harm than good, and far more work for Satan than for God.
No fitter candidate for the office of Minister existed than John Knox, yet he recognized the great responsibility that went with it, and he wrestled with it, heavy in heart, because he didn’t want to go where he was not truly called to be. Oh for more men to take notice of Knox’s example in this way, and for many to recognize, that unlike Knox, they do not have what it takes to be a minister of the Gospel, without doing Satan’s work. Passing all one’s exams is one thing, but head knowledge never did make a heart what it needs to be, for any mission or calling in life.
As told by Thomas McCrie in his life of John Knox, of Knox’s anguish at this time in his life after John Rough called him out publicly to take up the call of Minister of the Gospel of Christ:

This scene cannot fail to interest such as are impressed with the weight of the ministerial function, and will awaken a train of feelings in the breasts of those who have been intrusted with the gospel. It revives the memory of
those early days of the Church, when persons did not rush forward to the altar, nor beg to “be put into one of the priests’ offices, to eat a piece of bread”; when men of piety and talents, deeply impressed with the awful responsibility of the office, and their own insufficiency, were, with great difficulty, induced to take on those orders, which they had long desired, and for which they had labored to qualify themselves. What a glaring contrast to this was exhibited in the conduct of the herd, which at this time filled the stalls of the popish Church! The behavior of Knox also reproves those who become preachers of their own accord; who, from vague and enthusiastic desires of doing good, or a fond conceit of their own gifts, trample upon good order, and thrust themselves into a sacred public employment, without any regular call. continue

He took over Calvin’s place after his death, and controlled the Reformed church with much skill and dexterity. He died aged 86, and uttered this memorable farewell at his death:

Cover, Lord, what has been; govern what shall be. Oh, perfect that which Thou hast begun, that I suffer not shipwreck in the haven.

Truly an end of life statement that has Calvinism written all over it.