The best thing is to learn to accept everything as it comes, as from Him whom our soul loves. The tests are always unexpected things, not great things that can be written up, but the common little rubs of life, silly litle nothings, that you are ashamed of minding on scrap. Yet they can knock a strong man over and lay him very low.
It is a very good thing to learn to take things by the right handle. An inward grouse is a devastating thing. I expect you know this; we all do; but it is extraordinary how the devil tries to get us on the ordinary road of life. But all is well if only we are in Him, deep in Him, and He in us,, our daily strength and joy and song.
I have read and reread the bit in your letter about the love that constrains. Nothing less will hold on to the end. Feelings can be shaken and the fight can be fearfully discouraging, for sometimes we seem to be losing ground and all seems to be going wrong. Then the devil comes and paints glorious pictures of what might have been. He did to me—I can see those pictures still. But as we go on steadfastly obeying the word that compelled, we do become aware that it is all worthwhile. We know it, we know Him with us, and that is life.
I am going to ask of that consciousness of His presence with you may be constant and very sweet. I know the difference this makes. But you are not a child in Him: you have passed the point where that is needful. You know Him near, with you and in you. Joy though it be to be conscious of that blessed One, the great thing is not my feeling, but His fact. So if there are fogs on the sea on any day or any night–still all's well.
—Amy Carmichael "Candles in the Dark."

"You do me wrong to take me out of the grave.
"Thou art a soul in bliss,
"but I am bound upon a wheel of fire,
"that mine own tears do scald like molten lead."
—-William Shakespeare

PRISON MEDITATION DIRECTED TO THE HEART OF SUFFERING SAINTS AND REIGNING SINNERS

1. Friend, I salute thee in the Lord,
And wish thou may’st abound
In faith, and have a good regard
To keep on holy ground.

2. Thou dost encourage me to hold
My head above the flood,
Thy counsel better is than gold,
In need thereof I stood.

3. Good counsel’s good at any time,
The wise will it receive,
Though fools count he commits a crime
Who doth good counsel give.

4. I take it kindly at thy hand
Thou didst unto me write,
My feet upon Mount Zion stand,
In that take thou delight .

5. I am, indeed, in prison now
In body, but my mind
Is free to study Christ, and how
Unto me he is kind.

6. For though men keep my outward man
Within their locks and bars,
Yet by the faith of Christ I can
Mount higher than the stars.

7. Their fetters cannot spirits tame,
Nor tie up God from me;
My faith and hope they cannot lame,
Above them I shall be.

8. I here am very much refreshed
To think when I was out,
I preached life, and peace, and rest
To sinners round about.

9. My business then was souls to save,
By preaching grace and faith;
Of which the comfort now I have,
And have it shall till death.

10. They were no fables that I taught,
Devised by cunning men,
But God’s own Word, by which were caught
Some sinners now and then.

11. Whose souls by it were made to see
The evil of their sin;
And need of Christ to make them free
From death which they were in.

12. And now those very hearts that then
Were foes unto the Lord,
Embrace his Christ and truth, like men
Conquered by his word.

13. I hear them sigh and groan, and cry
For grace, to God above;
They loathe their sin, and to it die,
‘Tis holiness they love.

14. This was the work I was about
When hands on me they laid,
‘Twas this from which they pluck’d me out,
And vilely to me said,

15. You heretic, deceiver, come,
To prison you must go;
You preach abroad, and keep not home,
You are the church’s foe.

16. But having peace within my soul,
And truth on every side,
I could with comfort them control,
And at their charge deride.

17. Wherefore to prison they me sent,
Where to this day I lie,
And can with very much content
For my profession die.

18. The prison very sweet to me
Hath been since I came here,
And so would also hanging be,
If God would there appear.

19. Here dwells good conscience, also peace
Here be my garments white;
Here, though in bonds, I have release
From guilt, which else would bite.

20. When they do talk of banishment,
Of death, or such-like things;
Then to me God sends heart’s content,
That like a fountain springs.

21. Alas! they little think what peace
They help me to, for by
Their rage my comforts do increase;
Bless God therefore do I.

22. If they do give me gall to drink,
Then God doth sweetn’ning cast
So much thereto, that they can’t think
How bravely it doth taste.

23. For, as the devil sets before
Me heaviness and grief,
So God sets Christ and grace much more,
Whereby I take relief.

24. Though they say then that we are fools
Because we here do lie,
I answer, goals are Christ his schools,
In them we learn to die.

25. ‘Tis not the baseness of this state
Doth hide us from God’s face,
He frequently, both soon and late,
Doth visit us with grace.

26. Here come the angels, here come saints,
Here comes the Spirit of God,
To comfort us in our restraints
Under the wicked’s rod.

27. God sometimes visits prisons more
Than lordly palaces,
He often knocketh at our door,
When he their houses miss.

28. The truth and life of heavenly things
Lift up our hearts on high,
And carry us on eagles’ wings,
Beyond carnality.

29. It take away those clogs that hold
The hearts of other men,
And makes us lively, strong and bold
Thus to oppose their sin.

30. By which means God doth frustrate
That which our foes expect;
Namely, our turning th’ Apostate,
Like those of Judas’ sect.

31. Here comes to our rememberance
The troubles good men had
Of old, and for our furtherance,
Their joys when they were sad.

32. To them that here for evil lie
The place is comfortless,
But not to me, because that I
Lie here for righteousness.

33. The truth and I were both here cast
Together, and we do
Lie arm in arm, and so hold fast
Each other; this is true.

34. This goal to us is as a hill,
From whence we plainly see
Beyond this world, and take our fill
Of things that lasting be.

35. From hence we see the emptiness
Of all this world contains;
And here we feel the blessedness
That for us yet remains.

36. Here we can see how all men play
Their parts, as on a stage,
How good men suffer for God’s way,
And bad men at them rage.

37. Here we can see who holds that ground
Which they in Scripture find;
Here we see also who turns round
Like weathercocks with wind.

38. We can also from hence behold
How seeming friends appear
But hypocrites, as we are told
In Scripture every where.

39. When we did walk at liberty,
We were deceiv’d by them,
Who we from hence do clearly see
Are vile deceitful men.

40. These politicians that profest
For base and worldly ends,
Do now appear to us at best
But Machiavellian friends.

41. Though men do say, we do disgrace
Ourselves by lying here
Among the rogues, yet Christ our face
From all such filth will clear.

42. We know there’s neither flout nor frown
That we now for him bear,
But will add to our heavenly crown,
When he comes in the air.

43. When he our righteousness forth brings
Bright shining as the day,
And wipeth off those sland’rous things
That scorners on us lay.

44. We sell our earthly happiness
For heavenly house and home;
We leave this world because ’tis less,
And worse than that to come.

45. We change our drossy dust for gold,
From death to life we fly:
We let go shadows, and take hold
Of immortality.

46. We trade for that which lasting is,
And nothing for it give,
But that which is already his
By whom we breath and live.

47. That liberty we lose for him,
Sickness might take away:
Our goods might also for our sin
By fire or thieves decay.

48. Again, we see what glory ’tis
Freely to bear our cross
For him, who for us took up his,
When he our servant was.

49. I am most free that men should see
A hole cut thro’ mine ear;
If others will ascertain me,
They’ll hang a jewel there.

50. Just thus it is we suffer here
For him a little pain,
Who, when he doth again appear,
Will with him let us reign.

51. If all must either die for sin
A death that’s natural;
Or else for Christ, ’tis beset with him
Who for the last doth fall.

52. Who now dare say we throw away
Our goods or liberty,
When God’s most holy Word doth say
We gain thus much thereby?

53. Hark yet again, you carnal men,
And hear what I shall say
In your own dialect, and then
I’ll you no longer stay.

54. You talk sometimes of valour much,
And count such bravely mann’d,
That will not stick to have a touch
With any in the land.

55. If these be worth commending then,
That vainly show their might,
How dare you blame those holy men
That in God’s quarrel fight?

56. Though you dare crack a coward’s crown,
Or quarrel for a pin,
You dare not on the wicked frown,
Nor speak against their sin.

57. For all your spirits are so stout,
For matters that are vain;
Yet sin besets you round about,
You are in Satan’s chain.

58. You dare not for the truth engage,
You quake at prisonment;
You dare not make the tree your stage
For Christ, that King, potent.

59. Know then, true valour there doth dwell
Where men engage for God,
Against the devil, death, and hell,
And bear the wicked’s rod.

60. These be the men that God doth count
Of high and noble mind;
These be the men that do surmount
What you in nature find.

61. First they do conquer their own hearts,
All worldly fears, and then
Also the devil’s fiery darts,
And persecuting men.

62. They conquer when they thus do fall,
They kill when they do die:
They overcome then most of all,
And get the victory.

63. The worldling understands not this,
‘Tis clear out of his sight;
Therefore he counts this world his bliss,
And doth our glory slight.

64. The lubber knows not how to spring
The nimble footman’s stage;
Neither can owls or jackdaws sing
If they were in the cage.

65. The swine doth not the pearls regard,
But them doth slight for grains,
Though the wise merchant labours hard
For them with greatest pains.

66. Consdier man what I have said,
And judge of things aright;
When all men’s cards are fully played,
Whose will abide the light?

67. Will those, who have us hither cast?
Or they who do us scorn?
Or those who do our houses waste?
Or us, who this have borne?

68. And let us count those things the best
That best will prove at last;
And count such men the only blest,
That do such things hold fast.

69. And what though they us dear do cost,
Yet let us buy them so;
We shall not count our labour lost
When we see others’ woe.

70. And let saints be no longer blam’d
By carnal policy;
But let the wicked be asham’d
Of their malignity. [John Bunyan]

The next year after the Lord did it again, for our sins, visit us, and that by a dreadful fire, which reduced to ashes many thousands houses; and yet his love was then manifested to me in the preservation of my habitation, when many better than myself were burned out. therefore unto my God shall I, who am less then the least of all his mercies, render that praise which is due unto his name.
Since that, whilst I was upon a languishing bed, and death even knocking at the door, it pleased the Lord once again to alarm me in that weak condition, by a dreadful fire which broke out very near us; and at that time it pleased by good God to support and strengthen my spirit with that Scripture Isa xliii 2. "When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and though the reiver, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burnt; neither shal lthe flame kindle upon thee;" and that scripture Isa liv. 5, "For thy Maker is thy husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; the God of the whole earth shall he be called." And this second time also the Lord was graciously pleased to preserve me and my house from that amazing stroke which did so much threaten us. And oh that all those new and old experiencces might be high obligations upon me and mine to holiness and fruitfulness all our days!
Whilst I remained in New England there happened a great earthquake, which did shake all in the house, and my son being by me, asked me what it was; I told him our neighbours were all amazed at it, and knew not but that the world might then be at an end, and did run up and down very much affrighted at it, but I sat still, and did think with myself what a Christ was worth to my poor soul at that time. And then God made these Scriptures sweet refreshings, supporting and quieting my soul: Ps. xv iii. 46, !The Lord Liveth; and blessed be my Rock; and let the God of my salvation be exalted;" Heb. xi. 13. "These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confesssed they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth;" Rev. vii. 9, "After this I beheld, and lo, a great multitude, which no man could number, of all nations, and kindred and people with tongues, stood before the throne, and before the Lamb, clothes with white robes, and palms in their hands;" ver. 11, "And he said to me, These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb"

THE END.

Thou hast not that, My child, but thou hast Me,
Am I not alone enough for thee?
I know it all, know how thy heart was set
Upon this joy which is not given yet.

And well I know through the wistful days
Thou walkest all the dear familiar ways,
As unregarded as a breath of air,
But there in love and longing always there.

I know it all; but from thy brier shall blow
A rose for others. If it were not so
I would have told thee. Come, then, say to Me
My Lord, my Love, I am content with Thee.
—Amy Carmichael From "Rose from Brier"

He came from a humble but Godly home, one of 11 children, whose father 3 times a day went into his prayer closet and prayed aloud and the children knew and witnessed how their father walked with God.

He writes in his autobiography:

Though everything else in religion were by some unthinkable catastrophe to be swept out of memory, were blotted from my understanding, my soul would wander back to those early scenes, and shut itself up once again in that Sanctuary Closet, and, hearing still the echoes of those cries to God, would hurl back all doubt with the victorious appeal, "He walked with God, why may not I?" (p.8)

How much my father's prayers at this time impressed me I can never explain, nor could any stranger understand. When, on his knees and all of us kneeling around him in Family Worship, he poured out his whole soul with tears for the conversion of the Heathen world to the service of Jesus, and for every personal and domestic need, we all felt as if in the presence of the living Savior, and learned to know and love him as our Divine friend. (p. 21)

He describes a very moving scene in his autobiography, when he was leaving home to go to Glasgow and start at divinity school, to become a city missionary when in his early twenties. It was a forty mile walk to the train station from his home,, and forty years later he was to write of their parting:

My dear father walked with me the first six miles of the way. His counsels and tears and heavenly conversation on that parting journey are fresh in my heart as if it had been but yesterday; and tears are on my cheeks as freely now as then, whenever memory steals me away to the scene. For the last half mile or so we walked on together in almost unbroken silence – my father, as was often his custom, carrying hat in hand, while his long flowing yellow hair (then yellow, but in later years white as snow) streamed like a girl's down his shoulders. His lips kept moving in silent prayers for me; and his tears fell fast when our eyes met each other in looks for which all speech was vain! We halted on reaching the appointed parting place; he grasped my hand firmly for a minute in silence, and then solemnly and affectionately said: "God bless you, my son! Your father's God prosper you, and keep you from all evil!"

Unable to say more, his lips kept moving in silent prayer; in tears we embraced, and parted. I ran off as fast as I could; and, when about to turn a corner in the road where he would lose sight of me, I looked back and saw him still standing with head uncovered where I had left him – gazing after me. Waving my hat in adieu, I rounded the corner and out of sight in an instant. But my heart was too full and sore to carry me further, so I darted into the side of the road and wept for a time. Then, rising up cautiously, I climbed the dike to see if he yet stood where I had left him; and just at that moment I caught a glimpse of him climbing the dyke and looking out for me! He did not see me, and after he gazed eagerly in my direction for a while, he got down, set his face toward home, and began to return – his head still uncovered, and his heart, I felt sure, still rising in prayers for me. I watched through blinding tears, till his form faded from my gaze; and then, hastening on my way, vowed deeply and oft, by the help of God, to live and act so as never to grieve or dishonor such a father and mother as he had given me. (pp. 25-26)

When he was criticized a few years later for making the decision to go overseas to the New Hebrides and leave a very successful and fruitful ministry behind him, it was a word of his parents that helped him keep his resolve despite the  criticism and opposition to is decision that he faced:

Heretofore we feared to bias you, but now we must tell you why we praise God for the decision to which you have been led. Your father's heart was set upon being a Minister, but other claims forced him to give it up. When you were given to them, your father and mother laid you upon the altar, their first-born, to be consecrated, if God saw fit, as a Missionary of the Cross; and it has been their constant prayer that you might be prepared, qualified, and led to this very decision; and we pray with all our heart that the Lord may accept your offering, long spare you, and give you many souls from the Heathen World for your hire. (p. 57)

John G Paton, his courage, his fortitude and love of his Saviour was obviously a product of his heavenly Father, but he was also very much a product of his earthly father, and shows what can be be the fruit of raising children in a home where God is the centre and the children see the witness of the Saviour as they watch their parents walk closely with God day after day, week after week, year after year.

All the above are excerpts are from this book which is three volumes in one, and goes up until about ten years before his death.

I was in prison.
O breath of Heavenly air
Blown by the winds of Heaven,
Let come what may,
Our hearts will not despair.
Though will not stay away
From any prison
When friend of Thine is there.

I was in prison.
So Thou art with them there.
The door that opened to them, unaware
Of Thy great presence, opened unto Thee,
whom no man can gainsay.
The warders never knew,
Nor had they eyes to see
Whose feet passed through,
The door that day.
—Amy Carmichael Based on the text Matthe 25:36

Of course, John Bunyan knew prison up close and personal. Yet without his suffering there, when he descirbed being parted fron his blind daughter, Mary, like the skin being ripped from is bones, would we ever have had such great works from his as Pilgrim's Progress and the others he wrote?  He could have easily gained himself freedom, by refusing to preach and recanting, that was all it would have taken on his part, the word all here is not small, because  Christ was his life his   Saviour, and it would have been the ultimate betrayal  to him to do so.

As he spoke here on the subject of ingratitude:

He that forgets his friend is ungrateful to him; but he that forgets his Saviour is unmerciful to himself.
—John Bunyan

"I will stay in prison till the moss grows on my eye lids rather than disobey God."
— John Bunya

Let dissolution come when it will, it can do the Christian no harm, for it will be but a passage out of a prison into a palace; out of a sea of troubles into a haven of rest; out of a crowd if enemies to an innumerable company of true, loving, and faithful friends; out of shame, reproach, and contempt, into exceeding great and eternal glory.
—John Bunyan

This is for those who scream in silence and no one hears. The unborn who are cut out of the womb like a cancer; the lepers; the HIV patient. The different'; the misunderstood; the unwanted; the rejected; the weak or infirm; the second class citizens; the people who are of no account. folks like me.

Who cares for the tears of the fool?
Who cares how long they weep?
Who feels for their broken heart;
As it over-pours with grief?

Who cares for the scared and forlorn;
The weak, the infirm, the small?
Who cares when the poor man dies;
Who will be there be to mourn?

The rich and the strong can find their way;
The fool or the poor cast aside;
Who cares that their cries aren't heard-
As they scream and die inside? –Crazy Calvinist

Its the statue of life. Against abortion and standing for ALL those lost, whose silent screams were never heard as life was ripped out of them, and the gift of it denied them.  The problem is, that its not as the statue described, just belonging to the dark ages.  We are asking for the Lord's judgment upon us more and more with every passing week.

Jer. 26:13; Psalm 36:1-2; 2 Chron 6:36-37; 1 Kings 8:35-36; Daniel 9:4-5;

Let's be like the Ninevites of Jonah 3:5-10

Repentance is the remedy to perishing; (2 Pet. 3:9) and national repentance and revival, is the way to avoid judgment (Jer. 18:8) befalling on our nation in a way  perhaps unseen of for centuries or  perhaps even ever.

Lord have mercy upon us.

To quote a little more from her book, " Fragments that Remain":

What a difference it makes when people give "not grudgingly or of necessity" (2 Cor. 9:7) but loving their Lord and His cause enough to give Him that which they would naturally want for themselves! I turn again and again to the Word which says, "If thou bestow on the hungry that which thy soul desireth… THEN the Lord shall satisfy thy soul in dry places." (Isa. 58:10-11, RV, margin).

When they see Him whom their souls love will they regret they had in very truth "nothing too precious for Jesus?"

It still seems to me as the Christ spoke of in Luke: Luke 10:2 Therefore said he unto them, The harvest truly is great, but the labourers are few: pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he would send forth labourers into his harvest.
And once again, whether it be love, or being doers of the word rather than talkers, or not looking further than our own cosy little nook, it still seems to me to boil down to the sum and substance of the law, and the golden rule. Of love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul and mind, and love our neighbour as ourselves. And do unto others as we would want done unto us. Yet from this seat, and the experience I have had, the labourers truly do seem few. And Scripture foretells, that things are likely to get worse before they get better, which is a pretty terrible thought.

Again, from Amy Carmichael:

Many crowd the Saviour’s Kingdom,
Few receive His Cross,
Many seek His consolation,
Few will suffer loss,
For the dear sake of the Master,
Counting all but dross.
Many sit at Jesus’ table,
Few will fast with Him
When the sorrow-cup of anguish
Trembles to the brim-
Few watch with Him in the garden
Who have sung the hymn.
Many will confess His wisdom,
Few embrace His shame,
Many, should He smile upon them,
Will His praise proclaim;
Then, if for awhile He leave them,
They desert His Name.
But the souls who love Him truly
Whether for woe or bliss,
These will count their truest heart’s blood
Not their own but His:
Saviour, Thou who thus hast loved me,
Give me love like this.
—Amy Carmichael

The Lord knows I have very little in this world besides pretty dreadful sufferring. At least in ways that matter to most. I pray He gives me grace enough that while running on empty, I will still have a heart to give in whatever small way that maybe to minister to others. My name will be forgotten in an instant when I die, there is no one to carry my name on, no spiritual legacy to leave to any loved ones; when we are dead it is too late to make any difference in any case, for our own eternal welfare or others; the time is NOW;  what happens to our name or memory after we die, is of little concern, if we have the promise of heaven, our sufferings and tears here will be as if all in a distant dream; I feel a little like the man spoken of in Ecclesiastes in the ways above, not because I consider myself  wise, but I aim to be faithful,  yet no man will remember me as the man in the verse below it feels.

Ecclesiastes 9:13-15 This wisdom have I seen also under the sun, and it seemed great unto me: There was a little city, and few men within it; and there came a great king against it, and besieged it, and built great bulwarks against it: Now there was found in it a poor wise man, and he by his wisdom delivered the city; yet no man remembered that same poor man.

Is it that we are so busy with the front rows, which we can see, that we have no time for the back rows out of sight? But is it fair?  Is it what Jesus our Master intends? Can this unequal distribution of the Bread of Life really be called fair?

Could you say to a heathen woman, "I am very sorry for you. I know this will not show you the way from the dark where you are to the light where I am. To show you the way I must go to you, or send someone whom I want for myself, or do without something which I wish to have. And this of course is impossible. It might be done if I loved God enough. But I love myself more than God or you.

You would not say such a thing. But—"Whoever has this world's goods and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him how does the love of God abide in him? (1 John 3:17 NKJV)

Resignation:

There are some brave souls and God knows them well,
Though magazines may not their praises swell,
Whose life breathes a fragrance, just felt, not seen,
Like the scent of the violet lost in green.
Trusted with pain in a shaded room,
Trusted with office, or shop, or loom,
Trusted with pen or needle or broom,
Such, day by day, toil, suffer and pray
Contented to serve their God anyway.
But some there are, super-finely molded,
Who sit with hands submissively folded;
Who vegetate rather than live, and suggest
Good cabbages—doing no harm at best.
Of the poor dark worlds dark need they know;
They take a great interest in missions, and oh!
At times they are almost ready to go—
But then by some flaw in their calculation
They mistake laziness for resignation.

For they are so speedily persuaded
That all the reasons by which they are aided
To gravitate back to the easy chair
Are fully as solid as they are fair.
They "Can't be spared," they have surely heard,
And they don't recollect the rather absurd
Little fad that, most certainly, never a word
Would be raised did the question involve a Ring,
For, "of course, that is quite a different thing."

They have "so few gifts," and they "cannot speak,"
'Tis their "cross in life" to be timid and weak—
Alas that we call by such sacred name
Excuses invented to save us from pain,
Far, far removed from the Cross and shame!
Perhaps the societies door was locked
When with somewhat uncertain knuckle they knocked,
And everyone said, "Ah now it is plain
You cannot be meant to try again.
How terrible should you the business shirk
Of life's most serious fancy work
For our Father's business in temple's murk!"
They sigh and suppose so. The argumentation
Transforms laziness into resignation.
If such a deluded one reads this rhyme
Oh will she not waken while their is time?
Don't think that "sit still" must infallibly be
A life-motto written expressly for thee.
It may be the word is "Go forward"—if not,
If before the Master you stand in your lot,
He will flame your soul with a burning hot
And passionate fire, and you shall know
The joy of setting some other aglow.
—Excerpts from Amy Carmichael's "Fragment's that Remain"

But I also learned some stuff from God this year. That sometimes you have to submit, to move on. Sometimes you have to try to be content, when there is nothing comfortable about ones life. Sometimes you have to put ones longings aside, just to see God as He really is. Sometimes, you have to forgive and demonstrate that in word and deed before its too late. Sometimes you have to let go of ones hopes and dreams, and realize they weren't God's hopes or dreams or plan for your life. Sometimes you have to find comfort in the most unlikely of places. And sometimes, when all the world seems driven, by things you dont' understand, but its business makes your own life so much harder than it may otherwise be, you have to see it through God's providence rather than mans' acts against you. Sometimes the dead live, even if they're in the grave while still alive. And some day, God will make this right, it will all work for good, according to his purpose, for those who love the Lord. I don't have the strength to carry this load for one hour on my own, let alone a day, a week, a month or a year. But, where I am weak, He gets me through, sometimes even whilst I lay on the floor, or are cowering in the corner, that still small voice speaks, that makes the next minute from the last one, doable.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. [2 Cor 12:9]

O keep up life and peace within,
If I must feel thy chastening rod!
Yet kill not me, but kill my sin,
And let me know thou art my God.
O give my soul some sweet foretaste
Of that which I shall shortly see!
Let faith and love cry to the last,
"Come, Lord, I trust myself with thee!"
—Richard Baxter

John Calvin wrote of Psalm 73

. David opens the Psalm abruptly, and from this we learn what is worthy of particular notice, that, before he broke forth into this language, his mind had been agitated with many doubts and conflicting suggestions. As a brave and valiant champion, he had been exercised in very painful struggles and temptations; but, after long and arduous exertion, he at length succeeded in shaking off all perverse imaginations, and came to the conclusion that yet God is gracious to his servants, and the faithful
guardian of their welfare. Thus these words contain a tacit contrast between the unhallowed imaginations suggested to him by Satan, and the testimony in favour of true religion with which he now strengthens himself, denouncing, as it were, the judgment of the flesh, in giving place to misgiving thoughts with respect to the providence of God. We see, then, how emphatic is this exclamation of the psalmist. He does not ascend into the chair to dispute after the manner of the philosophers, and to deliver his
discourse in a style of studied oratory; but as if he had escaped from hell, he proclaims with a loud voice, and with impassioned feeling, that he had
obtained the victory. John Calvin.

David in Psalm 55 spoke of affliction and oppression coming from those within the church also, and it not just applying to the openly wicked.

Psalms 55:12-14 For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him: But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company.

Charles Spurgeon in his treasury of David wrote this on Psalm 73, and it seemed very pertinent to me. As this is an age old problem for the afflicted beleiver, whether the afflictions are passing, fleeting or enduring.  That we look around us, and wonder "why me" and not "them."  When people whether wicked or professed believers act contrary to  the life of faith and so bring suffering down upon others, it's a great, great temptation.  Yet, God is the Potter, we are the clay, its not for us to ask the reasosn why.

Even though Asaph starts with a confession of faith in the first verse, the temptations that he was encompassed by, almost brought him to apostatize.

Psalms 73:1-18 <> Truly God is good to Israel, even to such as are of a clean heart. But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped. For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. For there are no bands in their death: but their strength is firm. They are not in trouble as other men; neither are they plagued like other men. Therefore pride compasseth them about as a chain; violence covereth them as a garment. Their eyes stand out with fatness: they have more than heart could wish. They are corrupt, and speak wickedly concerning oppression: they speak loftily. They set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue walketh through the earth. Therefore his people return hither: and waters of a full cup are wrung out to them. And they say, How doth God know? and is there knowledge in the most High? Behold, these are the ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches. Verily I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocency. For all the day long have I been plagued, and chastened every morning. If I say, I will speak thus; behold, I should offend against the generation of thy children. When I thought to know this, it was too painful for me.

And it was not until he went to God Himself that he found the faith, and strength to go on, even though circumstantially nothing had changed. Far from apostatizing, he realizes his only hope, is in God. And that while the wicked have their portion in this life, the poor and afflicted of God, have God as their portion in this life, and in fullness in the next. But it was only upon going to God that he found an answer to his dilemma and apostasy was no longer an option to him. As it is this very kind or circumstances that too often talks people out of faith, and they ultimately can and sometimes do apostatize.

Psalm 73:17-28 Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end. Surely thou didst set them in slippery places: thou castedst them down into destruction. How are they brought into desolation, as in a moment! they are utterly consumed with terrors. As a dream when one awaketh; so, O Lord, when thou awakest, thou shalt despise their image. Thus my heart was grieved, and I was pricked in my reins. So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee. Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand. Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. For, lo, they that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee. But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all thy works.

O my God, however perplexed I may be, let me never think ill of thee. If I cannot understand thee, let me never cease to believe in thee. It must be so, it cannot be otherwise, thou art good to those whom thou hast made good; and where thou hast renewed the heart thou wilt not leave it to its enemies.
–Charles Spurgeon

Thomas Watson wrote on the question of how is God good to the afflicted believer who feels pressed beyond endurance:

To them that are pure all things are sanctified, Titus 1:15: "To the pure all things are pure; " estate is sanctified, relations are sanctified; as the temple did sanctify the gold and the altar did sanctify the offering. To the unclean nothing is clean; their table is a snare, their temple devotion a sin. There is a curse entailed upon a wicked man
(Deuteronomy 28:16), but holiness removeth the curse, and cuts off the entail: "to the pure all things are pure."

2. The clean hearted have all things work for their good. Romans 8:28. Mercies and afflictions shall turn to their good; the most poisonous drugs shall be medicinal; the most cross providence shall carry on the design of their salvation. Who, then, would not be clean on heart? Thomas Watson.

If you are a true believer and have ever tasted the delight of spiritual blessings, you will know that no earthly comfort, nothing on this earth or anywhere or anyone around about us, no delight we can think of, can compare with the joy of spiritual blessings. The believers lot is often an afflicted one; as all things in life it goes by degrees and in God's wisdom to how much or little each of us will be afflicted. Whatever our condition be, if we be believers we should wrestle with God like Jacob did, and not let go until He blesses us. The blessings that will come our way of a spiritual source, will build up our armour to defend off the attacks of Satan and the enemy, and to triumph in victory through all afflictions.

God has closely united our duty and our happiness in a thousand ways. In the fall of 18–, a young man was spending a vacation with a friend. He found in his mansion elegance, hospitality, and piety. The grounds were large, and the family was more than commonly agreeable. He could ride or read, or engage in fishing or hunting. For a fewy days he greatly enjoyed the change. His health needed recruiting and he felt better. But soon uneasiness followed. He lacked full employment. He was not sure that he could give a good account of his mode of spending time. He began to feel guilty. Killing birds and catching fish not so much for food as for past time, seemed to him of doubtful propriety. To ride without an object was uninteresting. In short, he was in danger of becoming melancholy.
At this time he heard of a lot of Bibles in the neighbourhood for distribution among the poor. He deternubed to walk and scatter this good seed. He went from hour to house, meeting with variuos kinds of reception, all of them civil and some of them cheering.
At length he came to a plain house, and was welcomed by a plain woman at the door. he entered, and saw seated around the fire five of her children, not one of whom could walk or utter an articulate sound. As he entered they raised a hideous noise. Their motheer said it expressed pleasure at seeing him. Seldon has one beheld a more painful sight. Besdieis these five was a son of sound mind, but deformed and crippled in his lower limbs. He was a shoemaker. There was also a daughter well-grown and strong, but of a feeble mind and violent temper.
The mother of these children was a poor widow. The visitor introduced the subject of religion, which he found a theeme welcome to her. The Bible was there. It looked as if it was well read. When this woman spoke, it was chiefly of the goodness of God. He in quired of her difficulties. She admitted she had trials, but told him how well the Lord supplied her wants. He found it good to be there. He prayed with them all,spoke a few words of encouragement especially to the widow, and bade them farewell. He has never seen a mother more contened and thankful.
He left the house feeling rebuked for his melancholy, which had in it perhraps much ingratitude. He could not but admire the power of divine grace in this poor woman. He did not inquire to what church she belonged to the invisible company of the faithful ones who love our Lord Jesus Christ. soon after he left the house he sought a place for prayer and praise. His sadness left him. That poor woman's behavour and conversation were better to him than many sermons. He then found out that a secret of happiness was to engage in hearty self-denying labours of the good of men, and especially of the poor and afflicted.
–Cited from William S. Plumer's "Vital godliness"

Lord, grant me grace to love Thee in my pain.
Thro' all my disappointment love Thee still,
Thy love my strong foundation and my hill,
Tho' I be such as cometh not again
A fading leaf, a spark upon the wane:
So evermore do Thou Thy perfect Will
Beloved thro' all my good, thro' all mine ill,
Beloved tho' all my love beside be vain.
If thus I love Thee, how wilt Thou love me,
Thou who art greater than my heart? (Amen)
Will Thou bestow a part, withold a part?
The longing of my heart cries out to Thee,
The hungering, thirsting, longing of my heart:
What I forewent, wilt Thou not grant me then?
–A poem by Christina Rossetti

Do you feel like me, mostly, that you have or  have had through life, many many acquaintances, but very few friends?  A man who had lived much in society, centuries ago was heard to say his acquaintance could fill a cathedral, his friends could fill but a pulpit. He was referencing space of course it would take for the numbers.

As I said in a previous post, it may have been in my series to mark Calvin 500, but can't be sure, Calvin never heard of an afflicted church, a prisoner, or someone waiting for martyrdom, that he wrote them a letter of comfort and consolation, wherever in the world they were.

The Bible tells us the sum of the law and the prophets is to love God first and foremost, and to love our neighbour as ourselves. To do unto others as we would want done unto us.  In my own manifold afflictions, I have seen over  a very long time now, how this is but a rare thing that is carried out. When I feel slighted in my afflictions, I have always asked myself the question, what would I do, if faced with someone in a similar situation,  and I was in regular circumstances; its true I have a passion for the suffering and afflicted, that I had long before my manifold afflictions I now have, but still believe in life, we reap what we sow; and if we do unto others as we would want done unto us, when it comes our turn to be laid low and afflicted, us then having done right by our friends and neighbours, by the law of nature and how God made us, should then find the support, comfort, consolation for ourselves, to help us then through our current trials as we were helped by the person now  needing help.

There is a secular saying of what goes around comes around. I think it has some reference to karma, but to put a biblical perspective on it, i truly do believe we reap what we sow in many ways.

In earlier posts in this series, I reference often, about when our love and care rarely extends to those outside of our own household how this kind of insular faith, was not the faith of the Bible or the fulfilling the substance of the law of loving God and our neighbor.   to put the same thing another way, as William Plumer wrote:

We love like snails to crawl into our little shells and there abide.

So the question arises, who is our neighbour?  Our neighbour really is all of mankind, whether friend or foe.  Because the Lord also told us to love our enemies also.  Anyone we have dealings with or converse with, can rightly be called our neighbour.  The example of the Good Samaritan in the Gospel clearly teaches this: Luke 10:25-37.  What this teaches us that any person is our neighbour who we can do any kindness to.  In those days, the Jews regarded themselves as not bound to love anyone but their own kind  which sadly also resembled the Pharisaical tangents of the Reformed faith where exclusivity is so prevalent today.  the rule of the Jews in those days, was Thou shalt love thy neighbour and hate thine enemy.  But in the parable of the Good Samaritan we clearly see  Christ teach there is no divides that make for no man or woman within our realm or ability to do good to, as being other than our neighbour.  The scribes and pharisees loved their own kind,  yet to only attain to that is a very low standard of virtue and not the love the Bible speaks of for loving one's neighbour.

But since the Lord also told us we must also love our enemies, then this doesn't only include those with whom we get along with or agree o everything with, but perhaps people who  have we have become or feel alienated from, whether their doing or their own, the duty is still incumbent upon us to love them, in other words to do good them to when able, and certainly to do them no harm, in either body,  name, (reputations) or spiritually.

As  people of the same body of believers we should not put stumbling blocks before each other, which if we afflict each other, hurt each other, tear each other to shreds in the false name of religion,  (as it is not what Christ taught towards either friends or foe) then we are doing the Christ and His church a great disservice, and the appearance of thus, can only indicate that we have more love for self than we do either the Lord, His Church, or our neighbour.  Leviticus 19 gives a whole list of the duties incumbent upon us in loving our neighbour. (Romans 13:8-10;)

The Bible says that their is no great love than a man being willing to lay down his life for his brother.  Self denial is a crucial part of being able to love our neighbour as we ought, but that is also true in being able to love the Lord as we ought, and until we love God aright, we will not be able to love our fellows man aright either it seems to me. One is a consequence that flows out of the effect of the other.

If someone injures you, you don't need to go telling this person that person, or any Tom, Dick and Harriet how they you believe they have behaved towards you. And remember your judgment is as fallible as the next man's what you perceive as their wrong against you, may very well be your faulty interpretation and judgment, and so we should do the biblical thing of thinking better of others than we do ourselves and putting the best possible construction on their actions, and not as the WCF refers to as maliciously constructing their words or deeds, and making ourselves judge, jury and executioner. That is not our place and neither does it have anything to do with biblical Christianity. Sadly though,  it too often seems to happen. And it is normally, as far as the Reformed faith at least,  and within the bounds of my own experience normally from those who tend to go further than Scripture  and consider themselves very exclusive, so again we are harping back to the unlovingness that came from the Scribes and pharisees. As Solomon wrote, there is nothing new under the sun.

Going back to the question of "Who is my neighbour"  Matthew Poole wrote this on the subject:

QUESTION I. " Who is my neighbor ? " — There are some men of fame in the world that will tell you, that, " in the language of the Old Testament, by 'neighbor' is to be understood' one of the same country and religion,' popularins Israelita; " and it is the peculiarity of the gospel, that every man is made my neighbor. But if we examine Scripture, we shall find this to be a gross mistake. I need not go farther for the confutation of it than to the Decalogue itself: " You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor." (Exod. 20. 16.) I suppose it will seem a very hard saying to affirm, that it is lawful to bear false witness against a stranger. So when God commands, " You shall not lie carnally with your neighbor's wife," (Lev. 18. 20) I presume these gentlemen would not allow themselves that liberty with the wife of a stranger. If God may be his own interpreter, this controversy will quickly be ended from Lev. 19., where, if you compare two verses,–verse 18, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself," with verse 34, "But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and you shall love him as yourself; "–you will not need the help of an artist to form this conclusion, that" the stranger is, in God's account, and ought to be in mine account, my neighbor." To the same purpose you may please to compare two other places of scripture together: Deut. 22. 4, "You shall not see your brother's ass nor his ox fall down by the way, and hide yourself from them; you shall surely help him to lift them up again; " With Exod. 23.4, 5: " If you meet thine enemy's ox or his ass going astray, you shall surely bring it hack to him again. If you see the ass of him that hate thee lying under his burden, you shall help with him." He who is my " brother, "which is nearer than a neighbor, in the one place, is mine " enemy," and he that " hates me" in another place. And it is further observable to this end, that the Hebrew word and the Greek a "neighbor," is usually rendered in Scripture by eteros "another;" as: "He that loves another hath fulfilled the law, for the law saith, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Rom. 13. 8, 9.) Most true therefore is that of St. Augustine, Proximus est oamnis homo homini" Every man is a neighbor to any other man." Nay, the more intelligent part of the Jews were of this opinion; and Kimchi upon these words saith, " He is called my neighbor with whom I have any business." And the scribe, of whom we read, Luke 10, knowing tile mistakes of many of his brethren, asks our Savior this question, " Who is my neighbor ? " (Verse 29.) And our savior gives him an answer, the sum of which is this, that even the Samaritan was to be looked upon as his " neighbor."

This is a subject I could go on for about much longer, but to try and keep it within the bounds of reasonable length, I am going to turn to those in afflictions, because as remarked at the start of this post it is something I have witnesses, experienced and been wounded by up close and personal over a long time now, of most that I have known, not loving their neighbour as themselves or doing unto others as they would want done unto them. Passivity or indifference towards the sufferer, particularly when the suffering is great, has a very cruel outcome for the suffer and is no less cruel in the effect than active cruelty would be often times.
One can often tell who does fulfil the substance of the law, by how they behave and conduct themselves towards those in afflictions, towards the poor and needy. At one time I felt the church was trying to rewrite the bible from weep with those who weep to afflict the afflicted even more. And that is how it can appear because many people by enlarge do not live this out of loving ones neighbour and doing unto others as themselves. We are to promote and tend to each others good, as much as is in our ability to, not to tear each other down and become stumbling blocks, and only see malicious intentions in one another. And even if we do feel slighted or wronged, to do as much as in our power to be at peace with all men, which does not include, tale bearing and backbiting and slandering, or cutting people off just because we have some disagreement with them over non-essentials of the faith.

Another good fruit of love to man is MERCIFULNESS. "The righteous are ever merciful." Psalm 37:26. "Blessed are the merciful; for they shall obtain mercy." Matt. 5:7. "Be merciful, as your Father also is merciful." Luke 6:36. A habitual unrestrained inclination to harshness, cruelty, and oppression is one of the worst signs in the character of any man. On the other hand, an enlarged prevailing disposition to pity men's sorrows, alleviate their miseries, and promote their happiness is one of the best signs in the character of any man. There is in some men a fitful and variable tenderness to others, which seems to be a mere instinct. It sometimes burns with great heat, and soon subsides into indifference or aversion.

But genuine love forms habits of kindness in the heart, and brings them forth in the life. The dispositions we display to the helpless, the guilty, the forsaken—are often the best tests of our real character. Nor is there any surer prelude of wrath, than cruel dispositions. "He shall have judgment without mercy that has showed no mercy." James 2:13. Tyrants, in any sphere of life, are hateful not only to all virtuous men, but also to God himself. Love to man will always produce kindness to the poor and needy, the friendless and afflicted. "Blessed is the one who has concern for helpless people. The Lord will rescue him in times of trouble. The Lord will protect him and keep him alive. He will be blessed in the land. Do not place him at the mercy of his enemies. The Lord will support him on his sickbed. You will restore this person to health when he is ill." Psalm 41:1-3. "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this—To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world." James 1:27. "Remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said—It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35. [William S. Plumer]

John Knox wrote that tyranny and Presbyterianism could not co-exist. And in true Presbyterianism it cannot and does not. But where you get these exclusive Reformed folks, who normally go further than scripture warrants or requires on some issues at least, and it has strict restrictions on whom they can fellowship with, tyranny often does exist. And to think that was John Knox's maxim at a time when tyranny belonged to the papists, its a really terrifying realization, that this is happening in our day, with modern day, scribes and pharisees in the ways of above.

Dear reader, have you or does anyone you know of, have gone to a worship service today, with grudges or anger or divided from his or her brother or sister? with maybe malice or contempt in the heart towards them? Which if one refuses to have anything to do with them, then it can only be so given what the Bible says about the body all being one. And yet what does the bible say about that, particularly if the Lord's Table is being taken. How many will face both God and the Lord's communion today, in direct violation of what Christ teaches us about that? (Matt 5:23-24)Some thing to ponder, but a church divided cannot stand, no more than can the kingdom of darkness.

Love is more than just a word, it has fruit! (1 John 3:16-17; James 1:27; Psalm 41:1-3; Prov 19:17;)
To close again with an excerpt from William S. Plumer. If love is more than just a word, it will find a way to express itself in more than just words without that, there is no doubt. And in our dealing with our fellow men and neighbours, (of which all are) whether we consider them friend or foe, let us bear the below in mind

The law of love to our neighbor has an excellent practical exposition in what has long been called the golden rule, which is in these words: "Do for others what you want them to do for you: this is the meaning of the Law of Moses and of the teachings of the prophets." None can deny that this law binds us to all the acts of love to our neighbor which we may lawfully desire him to perform towards ourselves. If therefore we are bound to yield the fruits of love to others, as we seek them from others, why should we not love our neighbor as we do ourselves? Where is any flaw in this reasoning? This golden rule affords an excellent test by which to judge both of our selfish and of our benevolent feelings. When we wish others to do something for us, let us ask first whether, in an exchange of circumstances, we would be ready to do the same for them.

1 Corinthians 13:2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

On descending from the scaffold, he drew from his ear the sponge soaked with his blood, and holding it up to the people exclaimed: "Bless by my God whose counted me worthy and His mighty power has enabled me to suffer anything for his sake; and as I have now lost some of my blood, so I am ready and willing to spill every drop that is in my veins for this cause which I now have suffered, which is maintaining the honour or God and the Truth of my King against popish usurpations. Let God be glorified and let the King, live forever." [The testimony of Dr Bastwick on descending the scaffold after having his ears removed for upholding the Truth]

Many Presbyterians during the puritan era fell into two groups. Princpled Presbyterians, and pragmatic presbyterians. The principled ones lived out their profession. The pragmatic ones were presbyterians in name only or for some gain to them by being so in other words for their own ends, not for man's chief end of glorifying God and enjoying Him forever. They could just as easily have belonged to any other denomination and perhaps been truer to their professsion.  It struck me much the same is true today, even though we are never called to suffer in the way of the above for defending and not compromising the Truth, at least not in our western world. But I have and do know those who go under the label of Presbyterians yet are very far away from others who are also presbyterians, the ones who live out their profession and not just in name only. Those are the ones who don't entirely subscribe to the WCF and its Standards, while trying to maintain to others that they do and are Calvin's type of Calvinists. Calvin's Calvinism went way and beyong the acronym T.U.L.I.P and sadly a large part of the Reformed church sees that acronym as representing Calvinism, when it falls far short of the mark of doing so in its entirety. But if they do hold to the Westminster Standards, the Presbyterian creed, its some modified, modernized version with crucial bits altered or missing from it. Or they may never have even studied the shorter catechsim at a very basic level in its entirety, when claiming to have been Presbyterians for several years. I'm a presbyterian in name only, by that I don't mean I'm pragmatic. But, having never set foot in a Presby church I can only be one in name only. But, I believe I hold to the Traditional Presbyterianism, that holds to the entire WCF and its standards, and are not pragmatic in declaring myself one, even though often failing in many, many other ways just like everyone else. Its always the pragmatists who muddy the waters by giving some other standards. Some lower standard, which makes man pull back from attaining to higher as the lower standard can be quite comfortable thank you very much. Maybe a general lack of heart being in it which an only lead to lack of diligence.
I do not believe in the carnal Christian thing, as its a total oxymoron. I believe any Christian may fall for a time, and God will either draw them back to Himself or not. But a carnal Christian who is that by nature day in day out, habitually I do not believe exists. One is either carnal that way in life habitually or one is a Christian and sets one mind on things above, while in this world, but you cannot be both in my opinoin at least not in the way I am meaning. Though we will all struggle and fight our flesh against being earthly minded. But that is not the same thing as how one often hears the term carnal christian used to refer to someone habitually and constantly, you really couldn't tell the difference between them and an unbeliever.
Its those who will sell their faith to gain something of the world, by compromising it and in doing so dishonour God to the highest degree. Dr Bastwick, and many others like him who suffered what we can't imagine, knew what it was to stand strong in the most adverse of circumstances. When doing so put their lives on the line and they would surely suffer in some terrible, horrible way. When that is the lengths they went to to defend and uphold Biblical Christiainity, what right do we have to take the same titles as them such as Presbyterians,, when often we are willing to sell our birthright and heritage for a very small price and very small thrill and gain in the world?

Don't say you are either a Calvinist, or a Presbyterian, unless your profession is carried through by actions and in livng it out. To do so, does nothing but sully the name, and also dishonour and sully Christ's Name too since as Spurgeon said "Calvinism is the gospel and nothing else".  Better to wear ones profession under a veil and be a closet one, than to declare it to the world and show yourself not to be, or so inconsistent you are an oxymoron and a confusion to folk   As by doing so, it sullies both the Reformed Heritage and Birthright,  and its obviously not something you are willing to cherish or protect, no more than you are willing to  stand up for Christ when the rubber hits the road in very many ways. The one will be a consequence of the other without a doubt.

Everyone sins of course we do. But it also becomes quite easy to spot the pragmatists from the Principled, as its always a particular kind of sin or some half baked, luke-warm calvinist, that rests more in historical Reformed facts, than it ever does faith and the gospel. Calvin was a great man, but he was still only a man. Too often he can be used like our own Reformed Pope, instead of going to the source which we should, that of the Word of God, we consult Calvin first, and maybe only Calvin. If we consult Calvin or anyone else, then please let us do so with an open Bible on our lap to see that what Calvin or others wrote and taught, are the same as the Lord Jesus, and the Word of God, or we are not only pragmatists but idolators. Calvin is who we will be following if we do not do this, rather than Christ.
Calvin would be horrified at such a thought. He really would. And he would disown and disassaciate himself from anyone who did the above, anyone who knows anything him and his life knows that to be true, so what right does anyone who does do, have claim to the title of Calvinist?

I will not faint, but trust in God
Who this my lot hath given;
He leads me by the thorny road
Which is the road to heaven.
Tho' sad my day that lasts so long,
At evening I shall have a song;
Tho' dim my day until the night,
At evening time there shall be light.

My life is but a working day
Whose tasks are set aright:
A while to work, a while to pray,
And then a quiet night.
And then, please God, a quiet night
Where saints and angels walk in white:
One dreamless sleep from work and sorrow,
But re-awakening on the morrow.
–Christina Rosetti

James Guthrie had been the first minister who had suffered in the cause—James Renwick was the last. He may be called the Malachi among those modern minor prophets. He is described a little fair-haired man, with a comely countenance, and great unction and sweetness of address. His letters, which are published, given evidence of learning, ardent piety, and something which verges on genius. In one of them, for instance, he speaks of the muirs and mosses of Scotland being flowered with martyrs. He speaks repeatedly of
Luther in the loftiest terms, ,and seems quite familiar with his writings. His last letter closes thus: "I go to your God and my God. Death to me is as a bed to the weary." He had a singular history. When a child of two years old, he, of his own accord tried to pray. Some years later he was tortured with doubts as to the being of a God. Once looking at the mountains surrounding Glen cairn, in Nithsdale, the parish of his birth, he cries out, "If these were all devouring furnaces of burning brimstone, I would be content to go through them all to be assured that there was a God." These doubts passed away, and, like Chalmers at one period of A his life, he seems to have passed some entire years in devout solitary contemplation of the work and being of a God. He was sent t the university where he supported , by teaching gentleman's sons. In July, 1681, when only nineteen years of age, he saw David Cargill executed in Edinburgh; and event which sent him home a "sadder and wiser man." His mind was forthwith made up, tears on his eyes and cheeks, to connect himself with the extreme section of the Covenanter's. After visiting Holland and receiving licence there to preach, he returned and added the weight of to his youthful scholar-ship, ardour and eloquence, to the Cameronian cause. His preaching gave a new impulse to the fading energies< of the party. His beautiful, boyish appearance---the fire which shone on his eyes and cheeks,-- his "pleasant melting voice,"--the "seraphic " of his speech, served to unite in him the charms of a bridegroom and the energies of an apostle. Peden and he were close friends. He spent two memorable nights with John Brown, the Ayrshire carrier. One chill dark November night, a thin, travel, well-worn stranger entered John Brown's hut at Priesthill. His shoes were worn off his feet--his plaid hung dripping around him---John Brown himself was absent--the good wife looked at him with a certain suspicion, and it was left to her little daughter, Janet to do as well as she could, the offices of hospitality to the uninvited and unexpected guest; yet so carefully did the child take off his plaid and so place him in the corner next to the fire, that the stranger burst into tears, and into a blessing on the "bairn." At this juncture Brown himself returned; he recognized Renwick, and a night of plaintive, yet joyous talk and reminiscences succeeded. After a day and another night of he same mutual intercourse, refreshed and strengthened he parted from John Brown to meet no more on earth, and went on his way. For years he led a wandering life, preaching whenever he could find an opportunity to the "puir hill folk." After the Sanquar declaration against the authority of James, which he penned, he became the object of unmitigated persecution; a reward of one hundred pounds was offered for his head, and fifteen distinct searches were made for him. Once he escaped by throwing himself into a hole on the side of a hill which was protected from view by a heap of stones. His activity at this time was amazing. With all the rapidity of enthusiasm did he pass from parish to parish, baptizing, catechizing, preaching, protesting against King James and his July indulgence. Like that glorious monk in the "Roman," he became a "a polyglot of Prophets"--a "manifold infection" of earnest and solitary protest. At length his health began to fail, he could no longer mount or ride on horseback, and had to be carried to the place where he was to preach. Yet, once there, recognizing an audience of the right kind, and feeling the fresh breeze of the mountain on his fevered forehead he revived, he strengthened, he enlarged, he poured out the emotions of his heart and he wrongs of his party in a very sea of eloquence, and the dying "boy" Renwick, was felt to be inspired. In him soul triumphed over the body, and seemed when it reached its climax to lift up the frail frame in scorn, and to say, "what proportion between this instrument and that effect?" Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit saith the Lord.
---George Gilfillian

I hope to conclude this on James Renwick tomorrow, with the account of his martyrdom.

I never mind if folks ask me about my disability; they see the wheelchair and may assume a lot.  Asking me is better than staring, better than the looks of pity, or  treating me as if because my legs are not working well, neither is my brain.  I was at a hospital of all places a few years ago, someone was with me, and I asked the receptionsist something, who then had a question, but she didn't ask me in response to my question, she asked the person who was with me, as if me in the wheelchair could never know the answer to that question, my legs don't work, so my brain must be on vacation too, huh?  If that is from within a hospital, how much worse is it in regular society.

I watched the Jermey Kyle show earlier in the week, about women who have disabilites, and how  soceity has always treated them as outcasts. One woman with no arms, went to a beach and cleared the beach in two minutes flat, because everyone dashed off it horrified, dragging their small children behind them, because they needed protecting from such an awful sight.   This woman now has a statue of her in Trafalgar Square, she is an artist,  tho the statue was done by soeone else to help raise awarness, because her art spoke for itself and no one would have know the artist was someone with no arms.

There are things in my heart that right now I can't speak of. For if I do, the words will just break my heart that little bit more.

Christians profess to be pro-life.  Burying someone alive like me,  to be totally alone apart from my cat, day in day out, week in week out, to have no one to ask for the simplest things that either I cannot do, or it is bound to increase my pain if I do, but have to because there's no one to help,   has made for a perfect euthanasia scenario in my life. No one to love; no one to care.  I didn't die quick enough, so people abandoned ship.  All the time professing to be pro-life of course.  Actions speak far louder than words for any of us. I lay beneath the ground or among the graves, crying and crying for help,  and no one to hear, no hand to hold onto.   James Dobson made a video about abortion called "The silent screams"  and that's what this feels like at times like this. Begging and crying for help, and no one to hear.

I abhor cruelty, I always have; it can make me physicall throw up to see it. Yet this has been made a very cruel existence, by people who were supposed to of the "loving kind" yet didn't know how to, all the while claiming the Name of Christ.  False professors? Maybe. Yet can't believe it applies to them all. But Christians should be leading the way to change things, not be a big part of the problem. Yet I can honestly say, that many professors I have known, have been some of the most selfish, self serving and self seeking people I Have known, totally against what followers of Christ should be.

I stand up for the under dogs; and I'm the biggest under dog I know, battling against what feels the impossible. But I stand up for them, because I know what its like  for cruelty to be all invasisve by other people, and most of all I know what its like when it comes from those who are supposed to support us and  help us on our way, and we them, rather than acting like our enemies.

I know what its like to have lost everything in life, by professors of the Christian religion; by trhose who stole my childhood in unspeakable acts, and set  a ball in motion that was to gather speed and get bigger. I know what its like. Yet, most people don't.  I am from venus and  they are from mars. They have each other,  and I have my cat,  as I lie buried beneath ground, crying and calling for help, and yet  know no one hears. Because the disabled, are often still the ones to be kept out of sight, the rejected of soceity; the ones who,  will never be seen as others. I am more than my disability. I often feel though, like those words that were uttered in the Elephant Man movie when being mocked and taunted for his appearance, John Merrick screamed, "I am not an animal, I am a human being."

But till Christians can even treat the disabled right, and not make the euthansia scenario that has been made for my life, as when I am in horrible intractible pain day in day out, and alot else besides in this illness, with no one to love and no one to care and no one to need me, (apart from my cat)  how can a perfect scenario for Euthanasia not have been made?

So when folks profess to be pro life, I often take it with a pinch of salt. As all those who made this life of  total suffering for me would have too.  Actions speak far louder than words.

What do you see, when you see me?
Someone, happy, and carefree.
Please believe that's not me.
Brothers and sisters I have plenty,
without friends and loved ones, my life is empty.
Alone again, I sit and play,
No friends turned up again today.

What you dont' see, when you see me,
Sad and lonely as can be.
What really is so wrong with me,
That no one ever wants to play with me.
Can you not see my heartache, can you not see my pain?
I may look different on the outside,
but inside we're all the same.

I had two friends that would come to play,
But even they just walked away.
Rain or shine, outside you play,
With all your friends you have today.
Sad and lonely, I sit and stare,
But you don't even know I'm there.
–author unknown

AS it is recorded that David, in the heat of battle, waxed faint, so may it be  
written of all the servants of the Lord. Fits of depression come over the
most of us. Usually cheerful as we may be, we must at intervals be cast
down. The strong are not always vigorous, the wise not always ready, the
brave not always courageous, and the joyous not always happy. There may
be here and there men of iron, to whom wear and tear work no perceptible
detriment, but surely the rust frets even these; and as for ordinary men, the
Lord knows, and makes them to know, that they are but dust. Knowing by
most painful experience what deep depression of spirit means, being visited
therewith at seasons by no means few or far between, I thought it might be
consolatory to some of my brethren if I gave my thoughts thereon, that
younger men might not fancy that some strange thing had happened to
them when they became for a season possessed by melancholy; and that
sadder men might know that one upon whom the sun has shone right
joyously did not always walk in the light…
It is of need be that we are sometimes in heaviness. Good men are promised tribulation in this world,
and ministers may expect a larger share than others, that they may learn
sympathy with the Lord’s suffering people, and so may be fitting shepherds
of an ailing flock. Disembodied spirits might have been sent to proclaim the
word, but they could not have entered into the feelings of those who, being
in this body, do groan, being burdened; angels might have been ordained
evangelists, but their celestial attributes would have disqualified them from
having compassion on the ignorant; men of marble might have been
fashioned, but their impassive natures would have been a sarcasm upon our
feebleness, and a mockery of our wants. Men, and men subject to human
passions, the all-wise God has chosen to be his vessels of grace; hence
these tears, hence these perplexities and castings down.
Moreover, most of us are in some way or other unsound physically. Here
and there we meet with an old man who could not remember that ever he
was laid aside for a day; but the great mass of us labor under some form or
other of infirmity, either in body or mind. Certain bodily maladies,
especially those connected with the digestive organs, the liver, and the
spleen, are the fruitful fountains of despondency; and, let a man strive as he
may against their influence, there will be hours and circumstances in which
they will for awhile overcome him. As to mental maladies, is any man
altogether sane? Are we not all a little off the balance? Some minds appear
to have a gloomy tinge essential to their very individuality; of them it may
be said, “Melancholy marked them for her own;” fine minds withal, and
ruled by noblest principles, but yet most prone to forget the silver lining,
and to remember only the cloud….

The mountain-tops stand solemnly apart, and talk only with God as he visits their terrible solitudes.
Men of God who rise above their fellows into nearer communion with
heavenly things, in their weaker moments feel the lack of human sympathy.
Like their Lord in Gethsemane, they look in vain for comfort to the
disciples sleeping around them; they are shocked at the apathy of their little
band of brethren, and return to their secret agony with all the heavier
burden pressing upon them, because they have found their dearest
companions slumbering. No one knows, but he who has endured it, the
solitude of a soul which has outstripped its fellows in zeal for the Lord of
hosts: it dares not reveal itself, lest men count it mad; it cannot conceal
itself, for a fire burns within its bones: only before the Lord does it find
rest….

There can be little doubt that sedentary habits have a tendency to create
despondency in some constitutions. Burton, in his “Anatomy of
Melancholy,” has a chapter upon this cause of sadness; and, quoting from
one of the myriad authors whom he lays under contribution, he says —
“Students are negligent of their bodies. Other men look to their tools; a
painter will wash his pencils; a smith will look to his hammer, anvil, forge;
a husbandman will mend his plough-irons, and grind his hatchet if it be dull;
a falconer or huntsman will have an especial care of his hawks, hounds,
horses, dogs, etc.; a musician will string and unstring his lute; only scholars
neglect that instrument (their brain and spirits I mean) which they daily use.
Well saith Lucan, ‘See thou twist not the rope so hard that it break.’” To
sit long in one posture, poring over a book, or driving a quill, is in itself a
taxing of nature; but add to this a badly-ventilated chamber, a body which
has long been without muscular exercise, and a heart burdened with many
cares, and we have all the elements for preparing a seething cauldron of
despair, especially in the dim months of fog…

Let a man be naturally as blithe as a bird, he will hardly be able to bear up
year after year against such a suicidal process; he will make his study a
prison and his books the warders of a gaol, while nature lies outside his
window calling him to health and beckoning him to joy. He who forgets the
humming of the bees among the heather, the cooing of the wood-pigeons
in the forest, the song of birds in the woods, the rippling of rills among the
rushes, and the sighing of the wind among the pines, needs not wonder if
his heart forgets to sing and his soul grows heavy…

Depression has now become to me as a prophet in rough clothing, a
John the Baptist, heralding the nearer coming of my Lord’s richer benison.
So have far better men found it. The scouring of the vessel has fitted it for
the Master’s use. Immersion in suffering has preceded the baptism of the
Holy Ghost. Fasting gives an appetite for the banquet. The Lord is revealed
in the backside of the desert, while his servant keepeth the sheep and waits
in solitary awe. The wilderness is the way to Canaan. The low valley leads
to the towering mountain. Defeat prepares for victory. The raven is sent
forth before the dove. The darkest hour of the night precedes the daydawn.
The mariners go down to the depths, but the next wave makes them
mount to the heaven: their soul is melted because of trouble before he
bringeth them to their desired haven…

When troubles multiply, and discouragements follow each other in long
succession, like Job’s messengers, then, too, amid the perturbation of soul
occasioned by evil tidings, despondency despoils the heart of all its peace.
Constant dropping wears away stones, and the bravest minds feel the fret
of repeated afflictions…

If it be inquired why the Valley of the Shadow of Death must so often be
traversed by the servants of King Jesus, the answer is not far to find. All
this is promotive of the Lord’s mode of working, which is summed up in
these words — “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit, saith the
Lord.” Instruments shall be used, but their intrinsic weakness shall be
clearly manifested; there shall be no division of the glory, no diminishing
the honor due to the Great Worker. The man shall be emptied of self, and
then filled with the Holy Ghost. In his own apprehension he shall be like a
sere leaf driven of the tempest, and then shall be strengthened into a brazen
wall against the enemies of truth. To hide pride from the worker is the
great difficulty. Uninterrupted success and unfading joy in it would be
more than our weak heads could bear…

By all the castings down of his servants God is glorified, for they are led to
magnify him when again he sets them on their feet, and even while
prostrate in the dust their faith yields him praise. They speak all the more
sweetly of his faithfulness, and are the more firmly established in his love.
Such mature men as some elderly preachers are, could scarcely have been
produced if they had not been emptied from vessel to vessel, and made to
see their own emptiness and the vanity of all things round about them.
Glory be to God for the furnace, the hammer, and the file. Heaven shall be
all the fuller of bliss because we have been filled with anguish here below,
and earth shall be better tilled because of our training in the school of
adversity.
—Charles Spurgeon

When her husband died leaving her a widow she wrote:

A heavy stroke falls upon me unexpectedly, by the death of my dear yoke-fellow, with whom I have lived in great amity and affection these forty-two years and six months. Lord, what is man?

She lived to 88 years of age, and when death was approaching as a visiting minister was at her bedside she said:

Pray for patience to bear the pains and troubles of sickness–for pardon of all sins–and the evidence of that pardon, acceptance with God in the beloved–our Lord Jesus Christ, and a welcome reception into his presence.

Her diary has become a spiritual classic, and she was every bit as godly as her better known brothers. One diary entry spoke of being in so much pain, and feeling it was a messenger of death but she faced it fearlessly. She then wrote her translation of Psalm 73, which was to be her own experience when death came to her own door:

What if the springs of life were broke,
And flesh and heart should faint?
God is my soul's eternal rock
The strength of every saint.

However, as the reader may have noticed, I like poetry, depending on its type.  And wanted to share one from Patience Strong this morning, called "Gifts"

Let us give and give again of all that we possess
Not from the purse but from the heart–bright smiles and kindliness.,
the helping hand the loving thought, the friendly word of praise,
encouraging some lonely soul through dark and stormy days…
The very poorest may be lavish with these lovely gifts.
Without a penny we may give the kindness that uplifts.
God never stints–He gives to men His riches from above.
Then may we give abundantly, the good gift of our love.
—Patience Strong.

In my own afflicted and lonely lot in life, I have found that oh so true. There is only one thing that helps my lot in life, and that if people who give time. It's the worst thing in the world to sit in this condition, and know that the richer or more prosperous folks have no time for you.  Most likely because of their own riches. (Am not talking money of course) Thankfully, there have been and are a few who give this great gift, and to me, its worth more than a million dollars, and the only thing that eases my manifold afflictions.

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat…We must find each other. Mother Teresa

Very few people understand why I feel all I do at times, even fewer can have any real idea of the depths of my sufferings, though I appreciate those that try, and those who also do in the first category. But false friends, or the kind where there is no depth or attachment, but rather a keeping up appearances, and civil pleasantries without any real care or heart, I have had a plenty, still do have some most likely, for those few, who are different, I thank my Lord, those who didn't reject or despise, and my brokenness and suffering, was worth something to them, in most cases, simply their time. I think Christina Rossetti knew some of what I feel at times by this poem. But in the midst of it all, I know my God sees all, and will recompense these years. An eternal weight of glory awaits me in the next life.

Despised and Rejected by Christina Rossetti

My sun has set, I dwell

In darkness as a dead man out of sight;

And none remains, not one, that I should tell

To him mine evil plight

This bitter night.

I will make fast my door

That hollow friends may trouble me no more.

'Friend, open to Me.'–Who is this that calls?

Nay, I am deaf as are my walls:

Cease crying, for I will not hear

Thy cry of hope or fear.

Others were dear,

Others forsook me: what art thou indeed

That I should heed

Thy lamentable need?

Hungry should feed,

Or stranger lodge thee here?

'Friend, My Feet bleed.

Open thy door to Me and comfort Me.'

I will not open, trouble me no more. 20

Go on thy way footsore,

I will not rise and open unto thee.

'Then is it nothing to thee? Open, see

Who stands to plead with thee.

Open, lest I should pass thee by, and thou

One day entreat My Face

And howl for grace,

And I be deaf as thou art now.

Open to Me.'

Then I cried out upon him: Cease, 30

Leave me in peace:

Fear not that I should crave

Aught thou mayst have.

Leave me in peace, yea trouble me no more,

Lest I arise and chase thee from my door.

What, shall I not be let

Alone, that thou dost vex me yet?

But all night long that voice spake urgently:

'Open to Me.'

Still harping in mine ears: 40

'Rise, let Me in.'

Pleading with tears:

'Open to Me that I may come to thee.'

While the dew dropped, while the dark hours were cold:

'My Feet bleed, see My Face,

See My Hands bleed that bring thee grace,

My Heart doth bleed for thee,

Open to Me.'

So till the break of day:

Then died away 50

That voice, in silence as of sorrow;

Then footsteps echoing like a sigh

Passed me by,

Lingering footsteps slow to pass.

On the morrow

I saw upon the grass

Each footprint marked in blood, and on my door

The mark of blood for evermore.
—Christina Rossetti

I will not faint, but trust in God

Christina Rossetti

Who this my lot hath given;
He leads me by the thorny road
which is the road to heaven.
Tho sad my day that lasts so long,
At evening I shall have a song;
Tho dim my day until the night,
At evening time, there shall be light.

My life is but a working day
Whose taks are set aright
A while to work,a while to pray
And then a quiet night.
And then please God a quiet night
Where saints and angels walk in white:
One dreamless sleep from work and sorrow
But re-awakening on the morrow.
—Christina Rossetti

When God wants to drill a man,         
And thrill a man, and skill a man,
When God wants to mold a man
To play the noblest part;
When He yearns with all His heart
To create so great and bold a man
That all the world might be amazed,
Watch His methods; watch His ways.

How He ruthlessly perfects
Whom He royally elects!
How He hammers him and hurts him
And with mighty blows converts him
Into trial shapes of clay
That only God understands,
While his tortured heart is crying,
And he lifts beseeching hands!
How He bends but never breaks
When his good He undertakes.
How He uses whom He chooses,
And with every purpose fuses him;
By every act induces him
To try His splendor out—
God knows what He's about!

Author Unknown

It does not matter where He places me Or how. That is rather for Him to consider Than for me. For the easiest positions, He must give grace; And in the most difficult, His grace is sufficient. So, If God places me in great perplexity, Must He not give me much guidance? In positions of great difficulty, Much grace? In circumstances of great pressure and trial, Much strength? As to work, Mine was never so plentiful, So responsible, Or so difficult; But the weight and strain Are all gone. His resources are mine, For He is mine!
-J. Hudson Taylor

It can be hard to remember, that wherever we are in life, we are exactly where God put us and where He wants us to be, even in what can seem some of the worst of circumstances.

Psalm 121

¹I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.

²My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.

³He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.

⁴Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand.

⁶The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.

⁷The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.

⁸The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

I watched this video earlier, was somewhat fascinated by it, wondering how it was going to end. And also because some years ago, it could have been written by me. Thought about posting it at first as an encouragement to the survivors of abuse, as it struck me perhaps it was written from that angle. The girl in the video, who wrote the poem or text, keeps talking about how people always care, lots and lots of them, and how you don't have to cope alone. That is not always true, its not been true for me for a very long time now, though I have friends, they are far away. But, there is also another common hyperbole in this poem or text, that the person considering suicide has low self-esteem, and a low opinion of themselves. Actually, that is not true, it is what we have been led to understand in by the psychiactric movement all pervading our lives as far as us knowing the diagnoses and causes of so-called mental illness, it is one of the great myths of our age. Yet, people considering or about to take their own life, are actually experiencing the very opposite of low self-esteem. They are hurting, without a doubt, but the reason they are considering taking their own life, is because they believe they deserve better in life than they have; better from people, or just better from life in general, which actually indicates quite high-self esteem, that they think more or themselves than perhaps other people do, and they think they deserve better.
Friends, you, I, and everyone is deserving of hell. Anything we have above that, is a manifold blessing and a reason to praise God in thankfulness.
I could understand where the author was coming from, having felt every thing she wrote at one time or another. Yet, the thing I have disagreed with in this post are still true.
Of course, some of us are dying a long, agonizingly painful death alone; albeit slowly. And when you have no loved ones or dependants, a perfect scenario has been made for euthanasia. And yes, in the last few year at times that has seemed a viable option, perhaps the only option, open to me. But no: yes, I feel my aloneness deeply at times, till it cut like a knife and pierces my heart and till it feel so tortuous while so sick, that it feels like a knife in my heart and that I can't stand it another moment; but, friends are the answer as the video suggests? Well, friends and loved ones are a blessing, and are part of the solution and answer no doubt, as we all need people, none of us are an island. But the only lasting answer, or complete answer, is the love of Jesus Christ.
My days are hard at times, when my illness increases and the isolation in such phsyical suffering feels like it will send me insane. And at those times, I do not in all honesty, know how to not feel all I feel, not yet at least. Yet, at any other time but those times, when still suffering beyond what most people can imagine, in illness, and still all alone, except for my cat, depite the gravity of the suffering, through the love of Christ and the power of His Spirit, I have honestly been enabled to say at any other times, and mean it with my whole heart, that HIS grace is sufficient, the Lord is my portion, and that I have learned to be content whatsoever my condition. All except those times above, I would say this is true for me.
Yes, Euthansia or self-murder has seemed an option at times, who wouldn't it do to anyone in a similar boat? But, if you learn to be content whatsoever one's condition, then no matter one's condition, you can say along with Paul, also, that to live is Christ, to die is gain. [2 Cor 12:9; Phil. 4:11; Psalm 73:26; Phil. 1:19-23; Phil. 3:8-9;]

To close this post with another video, yet unlike the first one, this one is through the eyes of faith:

2 Corinthians 1:9

By this scripture I was made to see that if ever I would suffer rightly, I must first pass a sentence of death upon every thing that can be properly called a thing of this life, even to reckon myself, my wife, my children, my health, my enjoyment, and all, as dead to me, and myself as dead to them. The second was, to live upon God that is invisible, as Paul said in another place; the way not to faint, is to “look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
—John Bunyan

I had to have Poppy, that little sweet bundle that the world rejected and mistreated till I had her at twelve and a half years old, put to sleep. She was 15, and was not happy any longer and was almost continuously ill. It was the kindest thing to do. I only had her two and a half years, yet she came on a mission from God of that much I have been sure for a long time, and she accommplished it, and left her footprints all over my heart, by how she had always been mistreated, and yet didn't seem to have an evil or aggressive bone in her body, but was utterly sweet and a gentle, kind soul But she's not suffering any longer.

As for the Bunyan quote I have lost my health, ad ME-anie my younger cat is all I have now in this world as far as "family" or loved ones, at least in my physical world. So, I needed to be reminded of that quote, as several months ago, I made a choice, that I was willing and ready to let Pops go when the time came, even though I have so little, believing that if I am left with nothing at all, not health, or any pet or any human, that the Lord can still accomplish the good work he started. Doesn't mean I am not sad, or grieved, that that sweet little bundle is no longer here. She was special, there's no doubt about it. And she'll be in my heart as long as I live.

Rest well, my sweet Poppy