We are taught in our age, that we must all have great self esteem and self worth. It is our right to it. Every time we get a knock in life that hurts, we will feel the hurt like any human being, but part of that hurt, will often be pride, because whoever has brought this hurt into our life, is not or had not treated us as well as we think we deserve to be, on our own esteem of ourselves.

Before I go on in this post, I want to say and make a disclaimer, that in almost anything in life, one cannot put everyone into the same hole. One size never fits all, as we are all individual and all very complex and all very different. There is a very, very tiny, proportion of those who claim to be depressed, and suffering a severe clinical depression, who are in fact suffering illness, there cause without fail will be physical in nature. In both men and women, on of the major causes for depression, and even what we may commonly term as bi-polar, will often be hormonal imbalances. It is not only women who suffer this and it has a negative and detrimental affect on their lives, men do also. Neurological illness also, always leaves a predisposition to depression. In fact, the text book goes that depression is a natural consequence of neurological illness, because obviously the brain and central nervous system is affected in neurological illness, but the text-books read as if it is inevitable, that you cannot avoid it if you have neurological illness, and from personal experience I dispute that point. Again, one size does not fit all. But out out of all the people in the world, on prozac, or anti-psytropic or anti-psychotic medications, the percentage of those who actually are suffering illness is a tiny, tiny fragment. And even if you may read this, and do have some hormonal imbalance, or neurological illness and you may struggle with depression, then please don't throw your hands in the air thinking that's it for life, that it has to always be that way–it maybe so and true for some people, but its not a fact that it has to be for all. We should not take it as leave to not address the real issues of what maybe causing our real depression or the greater part of it at least–I talk of course of spiritual malady and spiritual depression, which is not illness, but in a word it is sin. Those of us who do have some legitimate illness that can lead to real depression, will as a natural consequence of that, after a while, also fall foul to spiritual depression additionally, I do believe that is a natural consequence, of one from the other. Suffering, of any kind can and does affect us spiritually. And that's what I am addressing, not the small percentage of people who suffering from physical illness that causes real depression, but those who only suffering spiritual depression, or those of us who do have illness that causes real depression, but as a consequence of that, also then become spiritually depressed so that it escalates and becomes a vicious cycle that if we are not delivered from it, it will either destroy us, or rule us for the rest of our days, and we shall be destined to be miserable, have no joy in the Lord, and if we have a physical illness, I know from personal experience that its to be fatalistic about it, and see it as a done deal, because we have illness causing a physical depression, so there is little we can do about it, right? WRONG!

King David in the Psalms, is often one of the most depressed, afflicted, tortured, tormented individuals that ever lived. He pours out his heart and complaints constantly. What do you or I do when we sink into a depression through circumstances or affliction? Usually we whine to this person or that person, we may even have hard thoughts of God, and complain of him like the Israelites did in their tents. Yet godly King David, never complains about God, or to other people, he earnestly and honestly, entreats and beseeches his God for favour and deliverance and help in his plight. For him to notice his afflictions, and looking kindly upon him, and to deliver him from his enemies. He is not afraid to express to God the pain he is feeling; he doesn't always pray exalting God in every word or line, his prayers are earnest and honest, and he pours out his soul pain before God, never complaining of him, or to other people of his situation, but always complaining to God and beseeching his assistance.

Psalm 88 which is not one of David's is probably the most miserable and depressing Psalm in the whole book of Psalms, yet, I don't know about you, but often times that has been my soul song. Psalm 73 is another one, again not by David, but, one of a man in a lamentable condition and affliction.

Those Christians who suffer physical illness and a real depression ensues, will need medical intervention, to try and address the physical imbalance in the brain, however it can take weeks for these medications to start to work or become affective to any small degree, and by the time they are starting to, the person by that time is usually spiritually depressed additionally. You ask anyone who has suffered very real depression, through physical causes and then it has led on to spiritual depression, which was the greater burden, and I would be certain that the majority would say the spiritual depression was the greater burden, the one that really lowered them into the depths of despondency and despair. In those cases they have a double affliction, and not one brought on in all cases by their own sins, but because we cannot compartmentalize ourselves into separate little bits, of spiritual, physical, emotion, mental, we are a whole person, and when just one of those thing is out of sync, the others can and often do become affected too.

But what does the Bible teach us about these things? Spiritual depression is very often or most often brought about by the sense of God's desertion or leaving us, because we are so afflicted its often how it feels. Why doesn't God come to our rescue otherwise? How many times does David cry out from the depths of his soul, "How long, O Lord."

Look what God says in Deut 8:1-3 about the forty years of wandering in the wilderness of the Israelites. He did it to HUMBLE them. Humility is the opposite to that of self-esteem, and pride. Self-esteem is nothing but having a proud view of ourselves and what we are entitled to, and how are entitled to be treated. If we think of ourselves as nothing but dust, then we will not have great self esteem and when bad things befall us, we will see that whoever was he instrument God used for it to befall us, it came nonetheless, straight from the hand of God. Men may do the deed, but nothing befalls the Christian without God's allowing it, for our good and for his glory. When men bring affliction upon us, our habit is to sit and brew and dwell upon the evil act(s) of this person or that person, when we should be going to God, knowing that the man, or woman, the instrument was only the secondary cause, but the first cause of everything, good or bad is from the providence of God. If we see it in this way, and learn to submit to God's will, whatever circumstances, however hard or hurtful they maybe, we will not need valium, or prozac, we will exercise our faith, and realize that we are the clay and the Potter is doing as he wills with his lump of clay and like Job put our hands over our mouth, rather than repine, or look for a solution in the world of psychiatry to ease the pain we are suffering. Afflictions hurt. No one will say any different. But if we turn to pills rather than to God, to ease that hurt, then we are lacking faith, and distrusting God. The one thing that no one alive will not agree upon, at some stage is that life hurts. We have to get used to that being a fact of life, and that we are not always going to be sat comfortably, or the apple of any ones eye, and it may seem as believers we are not the apple of God's eyes because of what has befallen us, yet it is to humble us, to fit us for heaven. If we turn to pills, we refuse to be humbled under the hand of God because we regard ourselves far too highly and we want to stop hurting and to get some sense of self esteem back. It's a great sign of very weak faith, and of great distrust in God. We do not need pills, we need to exercise our faith, little by little. Even when we don't' feel it, we need to exercise it, to stir it up within us, until we do start to feel it.

Job suffered loss after loss within a very short time. He was a rich man, a very blessed man, yet in a matter of hours he lost everything he owned, plus his seven children. (Job 1). Yet we are told at the beginning of that Job 1 that he was an upright and righteous man, who eschewed evil, and what was his response when the sons of God brought him bad news after bad news? "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, Blessed be the Name of the Lord." Does anyone think that as Job uttered those words he was not an utterly broken man, a sorely afflicted and hurting man? But he was a humble man, and he accepted it as from God's hand. He didn't need valium or prozac to help him cope with the grief of it all, his faith was what he needed and his faith is what finally triumphed and exalted God and and he passed the test that God had given permission for Satan to put him too. You see even in Job, we have the devil going before God, and God gives him permission to do with him as he will, and that Job will prove that he was not serving God for his own ends or for what he could get out of God, that he would still serve him and exalt him even when he was stripped bare of everything he owned and loved. Even when his wife and closest friends added to his afflictions, still he clung onto his God. Yes occasionally, he said a phrase or two that in his humanity, to expect anything else would be wrong, as only the Lord Jesus Christ led a sinless life. But today, if all that befell Job, befell us, we would seek pills and counseling, and most likely sink into despair and despondency maybe even to the brink of suicide, because our self esteem has been ripped to shreds by everything we cherished having been snatched from us, and us being left barren and poverty stricken and of course in the case of Job also acutely physically afflicted additionally.

To go back to King David, lets look at Psalm 13. David is on the edge, he's at the point he may go ever the edge into despair and despondency. Psalm 13:1 David feels that God has forgotten him, that he does not see his plight and wants him to look upon him, upon his plight and deliver him. He doesn't want a psychiatrist or happy pill, he wants God's favour to lift him out of the pit he is sinking into.

Vs 2 we see him talking of taking counsel within himself, and how many of us do that when we fall into hard times? So that our thoughts become a torture to us, a state of mental anguish, and the outward manifestation of that would be impossible to tell the difference between someone who is clinically depressed. Yet David did not want doctors, or medicines, only the Great Physician could heal him from his distress and anguish.

Vs 3 he is beseeching God and afraid for his very life. Is suicide perhaps what is being intimated at here? Possibly though we cannot say for certain.

Vs. 4. He calls God as his person to perform his promises, as believers we have every right to have confidence in God performing his promises to us, there is no shame in asking him to do so, in fact to do so, is to pray in faith. This is the verse actually where David's state starts to turn around and the glimmer of faith among the darkest of times start to show through. BEcause he remembers who God is, and what He has done for him in the past and for His people in general. And that gives room for a chink of hope among the darkness that he is surrounded by.

Vs 5. He tells God how has been a faithful servant, and trusted him; he know to do so again, he shall have once again the joy of his salvation.

And by the time he gets to the final verse, 6, he is positively exalting God's goodness and bounty, and singing praises to him. Someone told me, that you cannot simultaneously feel suicidal when praising God and David is he epitome of that truth in the last verse of this Psalm given his distress just a few short verses earlier.

Martin Luther wrote about Psalm 13:

This is a prayer full of sighing's and groaning of an afflicted heart. In the hour of darkness, and almost overwhelmed under that darkness, with extreme grief and sorrow, and driven by the greatest strait of mind.

I'm sure many of us at sundry times can relate to those feelings, though the circumstances be very different. Yet if in those darkest hours, we choose medication when we have no physical reason for our depression, we are lacking both faith and trust in God, and doing it the way of the world rather than God's way. David humbled himself before God, and knew that he would deliver him in due time.

One other example that cannot be left out, because his words really sum up the whole, is the apostle Paul with his thorn in the flesh. Again, he says it was given him to keep him humble. And therefore it was for his good, and Paul humbled himself before the Lord, after begging 3 times for the removal of it, and his response to this to me personally, are some of the sweetest words of the whole of Scripture

2 Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Sufficient grace is what it is all about; and any Christian has sufficient grace for whatever the trial and whatever the circumstance no matter how bad the case may be. Sufficient grace does not need pills like valium, prozac and haldol, as the grace is totally sufficient; something can't be sufficient if you need something else besides that, unless there is a physical need through physical illness.

His grace is sufficient in the darkest hours, upon the most thorny of beds, and to the Christian, when in an afflicted state its what he needs to beg God for. Because God promises us all, not to give us more than we can bear, that he will always supply the grace we need to make it bearable. Only the Christian can draw on that grace, though it does not act automatically without us also stirring faith up in ourselves, to be able to draw on it and to start to think in faith, which will send the formerly tormented mind by tortured thoughts, into exalting and trusting God in complete faith and trust, knowing that in our faithfulness to God, in whatever dark providence befalls us, the same as David, we know that we will sing to the Lord because he hath dealt bountifully with us, and we will have the joy of our salvation, because his grace will be sufficient to sustain us, until we are delivered from the affliction.

Taking many of the anti-depressants out there, unless there is a real physical need, through physical illness making for the depressed state of mind, will only further cloud our thinking, and rather than helping to solve the problem may well prolong it or make it worse, because we chose worldly remedies instead of trusting God, we refused to be humbled and wanted to feel better and get our self esteem back, so we turned to pills, instead of submitting to the hand of God and humbling ourselves under it.

In Mansoul, which was an allegory by John Bunyan, and Mansoul was his own heart, we read:

For my part, I myself was in the town,
Both when 'twas set up, and when pulling down;
I saw Diablous in his possessing
And Mansoul under his oppression.
Yea, I was there when she own'd him for Lord
And to him did submit with one accord. [John Bunyan]

Turning to pills is submitting to the oppression rather than fighting the fight of faith.

As long term readers may know, one result of my illnesses is serous neurological affect. My Autonomic Nervous system is failing. When I was in the pits of despair and despondency I had every reason to believe there were physical causes that made for it. Yet, I have a personality that is really diametrically opposed to being a depressive, and I have had neurological illness since I was nine years old. Yet every few days Diablous would take possession of my heart and I would submit to it and be almost choking on the oppressiveness I felt. And I can only say in hindsight, since the Lord blessed me with living faith, that nothing has changed about my illness or my circumstances or many afflictions, but I do know and can say with certainty, that faith never allows me to sink into that state of despair and despondency, or suicidal thoughts. His grace really is sufficient with nothing else needed or required.